Wednesday, 7 December 2011

What is this telling me.....?


Okay........so before I begin.......I will apologise in advance. Whilst nearly all blog posts in blogland are all full of cosy festive cheer at this moment in time.....this post is not!

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I thought I would take a few moments to write on today's post. My posts have been a bit sparse these past couple of weeks. This post was meant to be just a picture. I have been around, but just feeling...well.....feeling rubbish actually. I have succumbed to another flippin' cold. I am not sure I have ever sneezed as much as I have done this past week. So forgive me, if I wallow a bit. Again, maybe it's this time of year, maybe just because I dread it so much. I am definitely not powering on full steam. Baby Bear has been suffering too this week, so lots of snuggle time has been called for.

I admit defeat.

I have tried to keep up with school matters. It bugs me actually that everything seems to be crammed in in these final 4 weeks of school. With three different schools, I have been bombarded with letters (when I actually go searching for screwed up bits in school bags), texts and emails. I cannot keep up with it all. Am I in the minority with this? Everyone I know seems to positively thrive on it all. It drives me mad. So much crammed in to so little time. 

 I am not doing well in the mummy stakes as my eldest pointed out to me last night. Super Mummy.....I AM NOT. Crummy Mummy....well, I think I might just take first prize at the moment.

I turned up at school with Baby Bear a couple of weeks ago, to find he was the only one in school uniform. What did I miss? I thought I had written every bit of information down as I had received it.  Obviously I had missed something. Well.....him being in Reception and being a boy, he didn't care, so, I tried not to worry about it too much....I just made a mental note to try harder, be better, and, try to forget the looks that you see on other mums faces. You know, the inward thinking of 'well...there's always one'....or is it....'good to see someone else gets it wrong'.

Last week, as I dropped Middle Bear off at his school, I notice that he too was the only one in school uniform. OH GOOD GRIEF.....I DID IT AGAIN WITH A DIFFERENT KID. What on earth is going on?! Seriously, what am I missing? Hummmmm, you know with him, I actually had it written down and had alert reminders twice on my phone to remind me not to forget. There were several bangs of my head on the steering wheel with the mild repetition of me chanting 'you muppet' to myself. Well, there is no hope for me I conclude. 

These, along with forgotten cake bakes, late raffle prizes, forgotten coffee mornings, missing a disco, getting the wrong date for a school Christmas dinner, forgetting ingredients for Home Economics, and, walking out the door twice and realising I haven't made packed lunches.

So.....what with these seemingly endless colds I am getting and just about hanging on in there in the mummy dept.....

.......i'm thinking this should be tell me something....right?

I think I have been running on reserves for quite a while, and i'm now getting strong hints that I am almost to the end of those. I take on too much. I don't say no because I hate to disappoint. This year seems to have been one long worry in one way or another. I think I have just got to the point where my body is saying enough is enough and that something has to give. I have spent a long year worrying about everyone else, that I forgot to worry about me. I need to build up my immunity a bit and get more organised. Being bombarded from every angle in this busy month has probably just pushed me to breaking point. 

So.....I have stopped all WIP's. They will be put away and stored until after the new year, that way I won't be tempted. I have told family their birthday presents may be a few days late. My posts, will be sparse, if at all over the next few weeks. I apologise for not visiting and leaving comments, or popping by and saying hello to new faces here in my little world. I will do.....just let me catch up with myself and feel a little better within, then when i'm functioning on full power, i'll be right back to where I was. I do read and appreciate all the comments posted. I appreciate that you take time out of your busy days to say a word or two and I thank you for whole heartedly for it......i'm just sorry I can't reply to you all personally.

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The pictures in this post are of my last WIP to be finished off.  Not Christmassy in the slightest!

I made it a couple of months ago, I just had to sew in the ends....and there were so many of them, it just sat there staring at me. I never seemed to have the energy to tackle it.

But, tackle it I did last weekend whilst sniffling on the sofa and feeling sorry for myself. So finishing it cheered me up!

I like it.....I like it a lot. I do have some matching wrist warmers done in a different style but in the same colours (so not too twee), but I haven't sewn them up and am putting them away until January.  For now, the scarf will make do.





So..............I hope that you are all well, Keeping warm if the days are chilly, or basking in the bright sunshine if the days are warm. I will be back with a good long chatter before long.......

Take care all

XXX

73 comments:

  1. awwww sweetie, totally get you on the letters home from school, i missed bringing cakes in twice for the fair and children in need...missed the halloween party wrote it down on the wrong date on calender - And i my lovely only have one child!- how would i cope with 3???? hehehehe...
    I think you do an amazing job just to keep up!.
    yes i feel a bit flat in the last weeks b4 christmas- i push myself to feel happy about it- its expensive, its a worry and its trying to make everyone happy...
    but least i get to see my dad for a few weeks and thats what i cling too that i get family time xxxx

    Dont beat yourself up you've not been well too- when your head is full of cold its not a joyful thing. Just do what you can, you're amazing- your lovely- and you'll get through it- after all its just a big over drive hype the whole christmas day...suddenly its gone in a blink of an eye...

    i must remember its sophia's school play...tomorrow!!!!...sargent major??? hehehhehehehe xxxxx

    big mahooosively huggly squeeeze xxxx

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  2. Oh you must not despair, it is super crazy just with 1 child, trying to remember everything for 3 is bound to bea challenge and so what if you don't always get it right, I certainly have had to say NO at times and being kind to yourself is really important at this pressurised time.
    Self preservation as a mum is so important. You take very good care, get yourself strong again and just say thanks but NO xox Enjoy creating freedom within your daily routine, you deserve it :0)

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  3. Sounds like you are not able to steer your own ship at the mo but it should still get to where it needs to so keep your chin up my love!
    Schools are a fecking nightmare at the end of terms!
    *squeeze*
    ali xx

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  4. Have you any Elderberry syrup? If not go to Boots and look for Sambucol, it is a wonderful help with colds and coughs, it is a liquid and it tastes good too. Try to rest as much as you can and we'll see you on the other side of Christmas. Be good to yourself!

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  5. I don't do xmas and I am childless, but here's my take; are your chidren well fed, sufficiently clothed and hae a roof over their head? Do you love them? Do you give them as much time, attention, encouragement and discipline as is appropriate in your family's circumstances?
    Yes, I'm sure you are.
    Well done, lovey!
    The other stuff is just optional.

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  6. Take time to care for and look after yourself, that way you will be up to looking after the rest of the family. You are definitely not alone in forgetting non-uniform days, I always forgot them, again with boys I seemed to get away with it.

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  7. huge hugs! I wish I could give you a cuppa and a slice of tea cake! I think we 'creative' folk are quite often in this camp! You could have been writing about me! My littlest asked for a new mummy over dinner last week!! Hows that for a conversation stopper!

    I absolutely whole heartedly agree with the above comment....the other stuff is optional! All we need is love!

    xxxx

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  8. Don't beat yourself up, my lovely. You are YOU! You don't have to be the best mummy all of the time. Sometimes you need time for you in order to be there for everyone else. Don't forget that. You're a lovely woman, my lovely friend and we all love you. As, I'm sure does everyone who knows you. You look after YOU and the rest will fall into place. Be kind to yourself. xxxxxx

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  9. I am here with a severe cold (never had such a strong cold in my life, how it sucks eh!) from being totally burned out from my former job. And since I totally neglected it... I am now burned out ánd sick whilst just starting a new job... the body is just very unhappy! If it makes you feel better (hm... only some pleasant drugs will do that trick, but there you go) I never believed in super moms. I think super moms are just great actresses and seriously... 'save it for the big screen hon'. So wallow all you like, I am joining you. And also: I think it's quite alright to scream NO at some point to all those people wanting something of you... when will they do something for you?? Exactly... ;-)
    Take care hon!
    Esther.

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  10. Dear, dear Vanessa,

    I am with you all the way here. You are one lovely lady who has spread herself too thin.

    It is SO hard to get the balance right between them time, me time, creative time, down-to-earth (a.k.a. boring) time. I have three children and I find it relentless. The trouble is there is SO much I want to do and I feel most days as if I am walking through a very sticky, deep swamp.

    I repeat: You. Are. Not. Alone.

    Take care of yourself PROPERLY.
    Stephanie

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  11. Take care of yourself and the rest will fall into place. You are not the only one, I'm always forgetting something - in fact only today I forgot it was the school disco! There's only so much one person can do, especially when you're poorly. Hope things look brighter soon xx

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  12. Hi Vanessa,
    I'm up here in Melbourne at 5.30 am most days so that I can get a bit of me time into my day before my boys wake up. I can relate wholeheartedly to your post (at first it sounded like you were writing a post about me minus the cold), I'm a serial offender when it comes to forgetting school notices, forgetting casual dress days, etc. My boys seem to come home with notices on a daily basis.
    Most important thing to put into your head is that no one is perfect and don't let anyone judge you.
    We mums have way too much on our plate to fit into a day that's 24 hours long. Being a mum is the most challenging and difficult job in the world.
    Please don't feel bad, take some time out and we are here for you xxoo
    PS - your scarf is BEAUTIFUL!!

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  13. Hej Hej Vanessa!
    Awwww sorry to hear your feeling not yourself...
    I think your very wise...shift down a gear...be kind to yourself and get to a pace that you csn enjoy.
    I think you are a Super Duper Mum
    I've done loads of things like that...just lots of Mums wouldn't admit it...
    Soo sorry haven't replied to your email...the 'saw this and thought of you' is on it's way to cheer you ... I hope.
    Much love
    R E L A X
    LOVE PEACE enJOY
    Julie
    x

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  14. It all sounds very familiar. When my two were young I felt torn in so many directions I couldn't cope sometimes. It does get easier as they get older, honestly. Just try to enjoy the moment and delegate chores where you can!

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  15. By not saying no to everyone & everything unfortunately means at the end of the day you're not looking after yourself. After a lot of work on myself I've realised that I am more important than the people outside of my immediate family and so to say no means I am looking after myself.....this is a good thing!!!! Cos I am actually worth me looking after.....and I think you are too :) don't worry about disappointing those who will only keep taking as much as you give.....time to look after yourself treacle!!! Good for you Vanessa!!! Take care lovely :)

    Jo x x x

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  16. Schools days are well behind my lot, but oh how I hated the relentless pre-Christmas rush when everyone wanted a piece of me, my too little time, or my my dwindling cash reserves. You are most definitely not alone. It is probably worse for Mums with each year that passes as expectations rise ever higher. Taking some time out to catch up with yourself sounds like a very good idea. We Mums are far too good at looking after everyone else and neglecting ourselves. Hugs x

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  17. Oh dear Vanessa, your post made me feel so sad. I just want to give you a big hug. It's impossible to do absolutely everything and it sounds like you take on far too much. I really hope you feel better soon and get the rest and relaxation you need. Lots of the comments your lovely followers have said are so true, your family are all happy and healthy and you love them so that's the important part, and I think lots of Mummies struggle but they won't admit it which makes you feel worse when you finally do. I just have one child, a baby of 11 months, and I love doing the blog thing but every now and I again I just think I am useless because people with very busy lives seem to achieve much more than I do, but then I remind myself just to get a bit done and enjoy each bit, and time with baby is so important so not to worry about how much I get done. Anyway I'm waffling a bit but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone, you are a great mummy, but also human so not infallible. I love reading your blog and you really inspire me so much. Thank you for being here. Now you need some rest, enjoy your family and have a very Merry Christmas.

    Helen xx

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  18. You're not alone! I only have one and I've forgotten the non-uniform day before and the cake stall money for Children in Need. Whoops! December always gets crazy busy. Take some time to look after yourself, everything will be easier if you are feeling better!

    S x

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  19. Totally forgot the say - I love the scarf too! Gorgeous puffs and gorgeous colours :)

    S x

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  20. Ay, listen hear young lady, stop beating yourself up right this minute. You aren't crummy Mummy, you might not be super Mummy but you are a really lovely Mummy, you really are. So just take a breath, forget about all the 'extras' just do what you need to do for you and for your family. Stand back, take a big breath, go for a walk (with that lovely scarf wrapped tightly around you) and relax. Easy to say, hard to do but you really do need to take care of yourself. Yes, your body is telling you to STOP, so PLEASE do so. Decide on YOUR priorities and let everything else go.
    Sending you a great big virtual hug.
    Carol xx

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  21. Sending you warm wishes for a brighter time ahead....you have had so much to cope with this year, and so much to do. I hope you have a good rest and wind down over Christmas, and don't worry about anything....you are doing fine! Take care, Vanessa.
    Helen x

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  22. I think you could have written on my blog by mistake, minus the cold that is, I agree with what everyone has written above, so just wanted to say take care of yourself, learn to say no or at least delegate (something i find so hard to do!) have a bit of a rest from anything that is just too ..well too anything and enjoy your christmas with your lovely family, who will look back on what a wonderful if a little forgetful (yes thats me too) they have...((((hugs))))

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  23. I'm feeling very similar myself, except it's not me that's poorly it's my children. I hope you feel better very soon and find your old self again x

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  24. I'm sorry to hear you are not well at the moment... I have had the remnants of a viral infection for the last two months and I got so fed up of not feeling right, that I'm boosting my immune system with 2000mg vitamin c and taking a multi vitamin daily. When you have a cold you can take a vit c tablet once an hour during the day - what your body doesn't need you expell. I'm beginning to feel much better. Maybe you could try this? The scarf is fabulous!!

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  25. I'm sending big hugs on angels wings to you right now....I hope they wrap you up in a cosy blanket of good feeling friendship and love. I thought I was the only crummy mummy around....but none of us are perfect and we all have super mummy days and crummy mummy days.....just today I forgot non uniform for my Little Lad.....I remembered the jam jar tombola....but forgot the non uniform bit....we were just getting coats on to walk out the door when Little Lad exclaimed "isn't it non uniform"....we were already running late, but I had to allow him time to change. I think you are a super person and a lovely friend....hope it's ok to call you a friend....I always think that when we get sick it's our bodies trying to tell us to slow down.....soooo, take some time for you.....your children and family won't thank you if you're too ill to enjoy Christmas with them....they'd rather have you do less now, get better, and have a lovely Christmas with them....I really hope you are feeling better soon....take care -xx- PS...I loved your sparkle that you shared over at Mimi and Tilly....and I loved the stories behind them too, especially the heart jewellery.....so, so touching! -xx-

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  26. Everyone has said it already, but you aren't alone in the slightest, and the important thing is that we care enough to try and get everything right, even if we don't always manage it. X

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  27. Looks like you need to slow down and take care of yourself, I am sure you will feel very creative and Christmassy once you do this. Hope you get festive soon!

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  28. Ack, I am soo with you on the chronic end-of-term-itis, we have 4 different schools to negotiate and I wish they spread things out a bit rather than leaving us to limp over the finishing line, dreaming about a sleep hotel instead of white Christmas! I have taken my foot right off the pedal, and am all about a low-key holiday this year. I hope you get some rest and enjoy a good break.

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  29. I really wouldn't be so tough on yourself. I used to strive to be my idea of a perfect mum - you know never letting my girls down, being there for them for everything, making sure friends came back for teas and all that stuff. Then I had to go back to work part-time when they were 8 and 9 and I just had to let go. Teaching means I have loads of prep and paperwork to do at home, so I just do a crappy, somehow do it by the seat of my pants job on that, let the house be fairly grimy and have a blitz about every couple of months, the ironing is always teetering as I'm usually dragging out school shirts to iron in the morning while planning a lesson in my head. I can't remember the last time I managed a weeks food shop and end up so many mornings running into the village shop on the way to school to fill lunchboxes. So I guess what I'm saying is something has to give and I think it's better it's all the dull stuff so you can make sure there's time for the good stuff.
    X

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  30. Just look at all the love pouring out of your blog for you! We won't mind if you need to take a break... put yourself first for a change.. If I was anywhere near you I would come and help...but instead I'm sending lots of supportive, comfy shoulder hugs...you'll get through it I promise :)x

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  31. Oh my word I really do know how you feel! You're not alone at all (just today I turned up to school to see my son trying Second World War sandwiches for which they had to bring in ingredients - I had NO IDEA AT ALL!) I guess the good news is that no one really suffers from these lapses that I have all the time. I'm sure they happened to my mum too but I don't remember at all.

    Sounds like you need a bit of hibernation therpay - good food, relaxation, chocolate and some cosying in time. Perfect time of the year to do it. Stay cosy and look after yourself. Time to recharge the batteries.

    Hope you're feeling more like yourself soon.
    Stephx

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  32. Lovely Vanessa, please don't think badly of yourself, you do your best and that really is pretty good you know! We all have off days where we feel we are a bit rubbish, I think it goes with the territory of being a mum. There are so many people who think they can tell you how and what you should be doing and we judge ourselves by that. Well it's all conflicting so take no notice of most of it, and really there is only one person who can do such a great job with your own family and that is YOU, so no you are not a bad mum but a mum in a million and the only one who is right for your boys. No other mummy will do!

    I think from the comments that you can see that there are a lot of people paddling wildly beneath the surface. Many people appear to have it sussed but apart from a few who we won't worry about, most of us have our moments. I once sent my daughter off to school not realising she was going on an outing that day. She generally had packed lunches but that day I was feeling lazy so she was meant to have school dinners. Obviously it didn't happen that day as they were away from school. I felt dreadful when I heard she had had no lunch, but I was far more upset than she was!

    A bad cold makes you feel really miserable in more ways than one. I think you are wise to give yourself some TLC. Have lots of sleep, keep warm and get your husband to do errands when you can. You'll be in better spirits soon once you don't feel so poorly, and that will go a long way in helping you to do some of what you want.

    Anyway, take good care and we will see you in your own good time. Great scarf by the way - love the colours and pattern.

    xx

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  33. Oh I hear you!

    Down Under this is also the end of the school year so you can imagine trying to fit it all in! I have had 5 kids in 4 different schools this year and have become very good at saying "No" or looking the other way when people ask for volunteers! I decided that self-preservation is more important than being a Yummy Mummy, so long as the kids are fed, warm and happy then that is enough.

    We're too quick to compare ourselves to others and need to remember it's not a competition.

    I do hope you get some time to recover your strength over the holidays, look after yourself,

    Sandra x

    ps LOVE the scarf - bobble stitch?

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  34. I totally understand where you are coming from as I am sure we have all been there at some point in our lives. Please continue to take care of yourself as you as the most important cog in the wheel of live for your family.

    Love the scarf x

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  35. Oh bless your heart, i understand just where your coming from. I work in a primary school and this is my first xmas there and i don't know if im coming or going its been full on for the past couple of weeks and next week being the last week isn;t going to be any different. Im shatterd and then i come home and have to start again. And being a mum we have to remember that we are not super women we do the best we can within what we have and know. If some things don't get done then so be it, its really not the end of the world. And if those other mothers are doing it all then let them carry on with it, but i bet inside they feel exactly the same way you do. Don't beat yourself up and you do a great job. Be kind to yourself because that is very important. Big hugs and take lots of care, dee xx

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  36. love your blog. And thank Heaven for being so open about this to us! I struggle with these feelings every year before Christmas. And now being 48 I told myself I had to stop this right now! I want a sweet and simple life. I like the smell of speculaas(dutch cookies for winter) and a walk outside in the cold all alone, I could go on but think you do understand it already. Skip everything that is not absolutely needed. Curl up under a beautiful afghan you made before and do nothing at all! Think of the most simple ways to bring peace in your home and the children will love you for it! It's not good for people to get so many noise in our life and schools! leave the Christmas madness for now only take out your own simple dreams for now! And show your family that it can be good doing absolutely nothing sometimes! Oww and I don't need an answer......;-)

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  37. Oh poor you! As you can see from these comments, we all sympathise with you. I took my daughter to rehearsals for her school concert on Monday, only to find they had just finished - didn't I see the note about starting an hour earlier?! My daughter burst into tears, I did the same. Lots of shocked, embarrassed faces, all thinking, there goes that mad English woman again. :(

    At this time of year, things seem to spiral out of control. So much pressure is put on us, don't beat yourself up, none of us are super human. Your health is very important so concentrate on getting well, everyone will understand if you can't manage some things. You give so many of us joy with your blog, I, for one, love seeing when you've made a new post. It always brightens my day. Courage!

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  38. Aw chicken, it's all been said above so I can only second that. Why are we women so wired to guilt? You're a fabulous woman Vanessa. Loads of love, Amanda xxxx

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  39. You take all the time you need mrs coco rose, we'll all be here waiting for you when you return, because we love your blog so.

    and you are by no means a "crummy mummy" - in fact, you're probably one of the best, because you put everyone before yourself and end up making yourself poorly because of it!

    so take some "you time", don't try and do too much, and enjoy Christmas for the family-orientated, reflective time it's supposed to be.

    much love x x

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  40. Be good to yourself, you know yourself that you need a break.
    I am the Mom that gets Party times wrong, forgets things constantly,
    and most of my mom friends are exactly the same, we, are not on committees, we do what we can, the odd cake sale here and there but you can not do everything it would be a recipe for disaster. Long cold winter evenings are here it is officially hibernation time so sit on the sofa with the kids and enjoy a Dvd or some board games.
    I really hope you feel better soon

    xxxxx
    Denise

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  41. Hugs to you, Vanessa. Take care of yourself - it can get crazy this time of the year with all the demands made of us by school on top of everything else (sewing costume for nativity today as if I haven't got enough to do!!). With 3 children there's bound to be something that slips through the net. Go easy on yourself and try to get a bit of rest if you can! xxxxx

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  42. so nice to read your post, and no you are not alone. I struggle with two as well and pretend it's because they're still quite small.
    but you have to take care of #1 and that is YOU. If you don't take good care of yourself, you won't be able to do all the things you now also do for others. And that makes you feel even worse.
    So give yourself a breather, enjoy what you need for yourself and limit yourself to the really important stuff. And if necessary, ask for assistance in whichever way or form you should need it.
    Hugs
    C:

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  43. I constantly have too much on the go and many things go amiss...but they make the smiley, giggly memories our kiddos remember in years to come. My older ones STILL remember the day I took them to the safari park as I thought they had an inset day (they didn't but whole class enjoyed their adventure the next day - even the teacher smiled as he rolled his eyes!)
    Lovely scarf, understand putting WIPs away but don't deprive yourself from any pleasure, just don't work them to any schedule.
    Big hug, go put the kettle on, pull out a pretty bit of china and make a nice cuppa
    xx

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  44. I, too, have been feeling overwhelmed and have taken a step back from everything! I am realizing that not everything has to be perfect or handmade. Don't put yourself down for it - just try to take some extra time for yourself and do the things you love to do...you will feel better about things. Love, love the scarf - trying to figure what stitch that is!

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  45. You are not the only one Vanessa! Come and join me in my hobbit house when I have dug one :-) xxx

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  46. Oh sweetie it's time to take care of yourself and take inventory of your life/ask for help where and when you need it.

    Hope you feel better and find some balance. <3 Caitlin

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  47. Sending you a virtual hug, from a mum that nearly sent the wrong child to school one september....

    Its not easy juggling it all.... & I've lernt that the hard way. There is a saying 'good enough is good enough' Try it, it helps!

    Oh & I survive by being an avid list writer...

    Lx

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  48. Oh Vanessa
    I know exactly how you feel. When my children were small this time of year was a nightmare, single mum 4 kids not much cash, too many Christmas 'events' too much to juggle, oh and birthdays galore, horrible! I used to get in such a muddle, but you know what all my kids have grown up to be very laid back not worried kind of people. The don't worry about things kind of folk, individual and unique. I'm sure it's because I tried to make sure they never worried if they turned up in uniform on non uniform day, don't beat yourself up you are a great mum, you love your kids and they know it, simple!
    As for that incessant cold, yeh I have had one of those, definitely stress related, I've found that identifying my cause of stress has be enough to alleviate them a little bit and listening to my body, resting when I need to and eating well. So relax over Christmas do the things you like and keep loving your bears! ♥

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  49. hello, just found your blog.

    I hope you feel better soon and that once the school stuff is out of the way you are able to enjoy Christmas.
    Looking forward to reading your blog next year.

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  50. oh i am soooo with you!! in fact I have got hubbys 'flu' that he had 10 days in bed with, and these last two days i didn't even bother to get up and take my boys to school. they are all snotty and spluttery too so I thought we may as well try and stop the spread!
    i have forgotten totally 3 times this month along to take school lunches in too! and most days I'm trawling back up the school mid-morning to take the lunches in!! so you are far from along, although I know how it can feel with the other mum's looking down on you in disapproval!!
    i do hope you feel better soon and manage to get some good you-time.
    take care x

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  51. I am rubbish and can't think of anything useful to say, wish I could wave a wand and make you feel better.

    Just know I'm thinking of you, sending {{{{healing vibes}}}} and ((((hugs))))....

    S x

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  52. Dear Vanessa,

    I hope you will feel better soon! Take care and use some time for yourself now and then. It really helps :-)!

    Veel lieve groetjes & a big hug van Madelief xxx

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  53. Woohoo it isn't just me! I have now developed a system where I check with 2 or 3 other mums if we have all had the same info! I have taken a child into school on an inset day-oops! I buy academic diaries so that I have a chance of getting things in it, it helps a bit! Withdraw and recharge- I dont doubt you need to- and well done for recognising the need to! Now I am off to try to make sure I have enough food for packed lunches next week, and something for a food hamper for local older people!

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  54. You are not alone! I only have 2 (out of 3) in 2 schools and I find it difficult to keep up with what's going on as well as helping with schoolwork and general daily activities! I had to step back a bit from blogging, esp with the holidays coming up. I'm looking forward to the new year and working on hobbies once again!
    Good luck to you!

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  55. Ah yes, I hear you. I too have had that sinking feeling when you realise your child is the ONLY one in school uniform. I also did it to Little Lady a wee while back, taking her to Brownies in her uniform just before Halloween, to find all the other Brownies in fancy dress. Poor wee thing, the Brown Owl improvised and dressed her in a black bin liner, it wasn't good.
    I don't know what the answer is vanessa, it sure is a struggle. I'm going to be in a situation in a 2yrs time when all three of mine will be somewhere different, I'm not looking forward to it.

    Your latest scarf is sublime, I LOVE the puffy stitches.
    Ahhhh sending you a huge squishy hug and a big boost to your immune system, lots of love xxxxxxxxx

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  56. Juggling everything can be such a challenge sometimes - the Boy is only three, and not at school yet, but I still end up baffled as to how anyone with more than one littlie keeps all the balls in the air!
    Sometimes you just need to take some time out - although I have to say, I do love the scarf, wonderful colours!
    x

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  57. Oh, how that brings back memories! Best to hunker down sometimes and just get through it. Good luck and look for the small pleasures.
    Pam x

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  58. Oh hon - it's such a crazy time of year isn't it? Too many things to remember, and not enough post-it notes to cover the fridge with important details!!! I bet your bears think you're the best mum in the whole wide world and that's all that matters. Just in case I don't get to pop back soon, I wanted to wish you and your family a truly happy Christmas. I hope you find some time to rest, regroup and feel revived. Take care hon. Leah xx

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  59. Oh I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself. :0) Sending hugs and prayers for you. Hugs. Trish

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  60. Well I think your post was totally refreshing. I often look at blogs and wonder why they are all super duper clappy happy perfect. So big thank you from me for your honesty. I think it's good to take time for yourself. It's also a good thing for children to learn as they grow up that mums can need a little help at times. To learn a little consideration of mumnif she's busy or feeling off can only make them more thoughtful as they grow older. I forget stuff about the schools all the time. I'm always losing the letters ect aswell. I find it hard to understand why everyone has to be so competitive. We should all support each other. I worry bout the other mums lookin down their noses too. But I think we as women have become our own worse enemies. The true spirit of Christmas gets forgotten under all the hype n pressure. The same joys of being a mum can get forgotten
    by all the pressure to be a yummy mummy clone. Sorry for going on. Thanks again for your honesty it made me feel like I'm not the only one. Take care enjoy your Xmas n your boys. P.S love the scarf wel jel lol xx Lyndsey

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  61. I had to giggle as I read your post. My youngest is in her first year of college and I still get hives when I think of the horror of grade school Decembers. Concerts and parties and celebrations...school stuff, soccer stuff, ballet stuff...OH MY! I would wake up earlier and stay up later in an effort to be the WORLD'S BEST MOM, all for naught. I was always frustrated, always late, always had a headache, and generally greeted the world with a strained smile plastered on my face. This is my first CALM December in 25 years, but I DO miss the magic that floated in and out of the chaos!

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  62. I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't going the way you planned it. Please take time to rest and to take care of yourself and your family. That is much more important than your blog and those WIP's. I hope to see you next year.

    Aletta

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  63. I just found your blog and LOVE it. It's every bit the crochet pick-me-up that I need. So sad to hear that you'll be taking a break, but I totally understand. I had a baby and took 2 years off knitting & crochet just becos I didn't feel like I could do it. Please take care, come back once in a while & say hi .

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  64. We all have the feelings at times...I remember sending Ben in his uniform on a non uniform day. Why are we so hard on our selfs???

    Big hugs, have a lovely weekend xxx

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  65. Your scarf is lovely. My three are all growed up now and the house is so empty...i am the mum who went to school in different shoes and one day ran out in my slippers! along with plenty of other gaffs why do we always focus on small errors think of all the good you do all day,every day taking care of everyone xx

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  66. Oh Vanessa, I absolutely feel the same and you most definitely are NOT alone in feeling that 'bad mummy' syndrome. I do think the schools expect quite a bit from parents on top of all the things we have to do. It's ok when you're feeling on top of things but when things go a bit 'tits up' and out of our control it all builds up and something needs to give (usually our health). Your body is most definitely saying take a step back, breath and think of yourself for once!
    I truely hope you are able to enjoy your Christmas... Take some time-out with your lovely family and look forward to that 'fresh start' in the new year?

    Much love,

    Louise xxx

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  67. Oh goodness, we have all been there. I think it is awesome that you recognize that you need to step back. Take care and know that you are not alone.
    Teresa

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  68. You have a wonderful blog I'm always happy to visit. English isn't my language but, this time, I really wanted to leave a comment... I totally know what you mean ! Been there, done that... Not easy to let go ! Take care !

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  69. i definitely feel your pain, vanessa. just do what you can, the best way you know how and you'll be fine. don't be afraid to say no to things and situations that you know will be stressful. and really, who cares what the other mums think, they should be so lucky as to have one ounce of your abundant creativity.

    with four girls at four different schools last year, i made 'no, thank you' new favorite words. i limited activities and volunteering to what i knew i could handle and not get myself all worked up into a tizzy about..

    this year, we've three different schools, and it's a bit easier. although, my youngest came down with hepatitis (due to an allergy to an antibiotic). she's been home since october, and as 'house-bound' as we've been, i've loved 'having' to stay home. we can say 'no, thanks' with abandon.

    i hope you and your beautiful family have a wonderful christmas.

    xo
    molly

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  70. Oh Vanessa, it's like you've been living my life, by the sounds of it. Having three children is just bonkers, frankly - especially at this time of year when there are about a million things going on at school/clubs/socially. Gaaaah!!!
    I had a humiliating phone call from my oldest son's school while I was in John Lewis the other day, telling me that he 'appeared not to have his swimming kit with him' and he needed it 'half an hour ago'. Mmmm - well thanks for that. In the past month, I've forgotten PE kits, raffle tickets, homework, guitar lessons, birthdays and spelling tests and I haven't managed a blog post for about six weeks. I struggle to remember how many children I've got, some days... Can't wait for the Christmas hols to start properly - my brain needs a break!
    Hope you're feeling a bit less sniffly now
    Emily x

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  71. What a very thoughtful post, even without having a cold I am so much feeling the same as you. Our daily life demands so much attention and it´s worth every afford to make life smooth and happy. I also love to have an hour here or there to just sit and relax, to knit or crochet or read or simply do nothing than browsing pretty books or blogs. And while reading blogs I always again wonder how their owners own so much time to make pretty pictures, to write many words, reply to mails and comments, find new sites and above all even have time to make so many pretty handmade items. Then, always again, I am feeling very very insufficient. I also want a sparkling home filled with lots of handmade items, want to bake and cook like a kitchen queen, want lots of beautiful flower beds in my garden and beside all this manage our daily routine with easyness, write mails, post on my blog regularly, read interesting books and so on and so on. For myself I have figured out, that I shouldn´t take blogland too seriously. I love it a lot but what counts still most is our own 'real' life. Having a blog means also feeling a lot of pressure inside for posting, replying and crafting. Your blog is so very lovely and you often write so many inspiring posts, so, take your own time and speed, we are all still here, no matter if you will post daily or once a month. It will always be worth the waiting, I am sure.
    With my very best wishes and my hope that you soon will feel better again, Suzi

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  72. So glad it's not just me! PHew,
    We also are inundated with letters from school and creche. I so so so understand. I think A lot of the parents are like me in school too and I am so loving the gentle text reminders from the school to say what's happening and what time! It help's a bit.
    Just can't remember what time they are in school til tomorrow! hahaha
    You are a star and I am so in awe of your many talents and I hear that maybe you will be visiting Wales soon! A good chat and cake is long over due and so needed my petal!
    Big hugs for now, Until we meet!
    Yippie
    xxx

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  73. I just started following your blog...Love your writing and your projects. Was wandering if you would tell me where I could find the pattern for the scarf that you made, it's lovely.
    As a mother of 8, I can tell you that you have to make time yourself to rest up. Take time to recharge and get yourself back to 100%.
    Hope the New Year brings you a slower pace.

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