Friday, 16 March 2012

Missing.....







Apologies.

Wonder where I was?

Several weeks ago, as I was doing the school run, I was mentally running through what needed to be done for the day. House tidy.....wash loads on......food shop.....yah de yah.....

First stop.....a hot cuppa.....then an email check....then crack on with house maintenance.

I sat at the desk and opened my inbox. One thing led to another and when I looked up at the clock it was midday. I still hadn't managed to plough through all the emails and what not. I had tried to get a post written that wasn't happening. I was flitting on Pinterest. I realised that this was actually my day the day before too. I sat and thought about it. This wasn't right. The balance was all wrong.

I make a point of not being on the computer in the evenings and generally at any time over the weekend. It's 'family' time. But, I just wasn't managing to get everything done during the week that needed to be done.

It sort of coincided with this feeling that I was having. A sort of flat feeling. Winter blues? A little late, but quite possibly.

I saw my house was suffering. My crafting was on the decrease. My enthusiasm was waining on every level. I realised I needed to retreat back at bit...... take stock of a few things, and decide whether I needed the computer as much as I thought I did.

So.....I turned it off.

I thought I would actually have a little experiment as to how long I could go without feeling the 'need' to be on it.

So, that's the explanation as to why I have been quiet.....why I have not posted....and why I have not been visiting. I simply turned the computer off.

I re-joined the 'real world' full time.


I wondered whether I would miss blogging. Miss commenting. Miss interacting in this wonderful community. I wondered whether I would feel the guilt lift. The guilt I feel at not being able to stop by so many blogs and comment. The guilt at not replying to everybody who comments on my posts to say a big thank you for doing so. To say thank you for taking the time to do it, how much I appreciate it, and how fab I think you are. How come you all can do it and I can't seem to? The guilt at realising in the early hours of the morning that someone asked me a question, and I never managed to get round to answering. Oh the guilt.......

I wondered whether the restless feeling I was having inside me, was me saying, the time had come to say a fond farewell to my blog and all you lovely peeps. I sort of felt like I was maybe in repetition. I wasn't taking pictures of things I hadn't taken before. I wasn't making anything that wasn't something you could find on any other crafty blog. Boring? Quite possibly. Inspiring? Hardly. So was there really any point? 

I think I just lost my mojo, and have had to wait for it to return.

I did't go completely cold turkey on the techno thing though. I finally pulled my finger out, and after having the instagram app on my phone for many, many months, decided to take the plunge. I have already met some of you on there which is fun. I love it's casual-ness and that it's instant. It doesn't take up so much of your time and you can flit in and out as and when. I'm cocorose1 on there, so if you are on there too and want to stop by and say hi, it would be lovely to meet you! Maybe that hasn't helped my feeling of bloggy lethargy!

I felt a bit stagnant. I felt like first and foremost I was writing a little diary of snippets of my life and thoughts and makes. I thought it would perhaps be a nice thing for the bears to look upon one day...but then I thought, actually, they would find it soooooo boring! There are so many lovely blogs out there that can give you a crafty fix, it really wouldn't matter whether I was around or not.


 The break has done me good. Maybe it's what I have needed. Sometimes, it's not until you pull your head right out, you begin to see how far it was in!

I have some of you asking if i'm okay as i've been quiet, so I just wanted to let you know that yes i'm okay (bless you for emailing and commenting), and thought popping a little explanation as to why I have been absent all round, would be the jolly decent thing to do. It sort of feels weird typing.

I don't think I am ready to say a complete goodbye yet, but I think my postings might be more sporadic, and please forgive me if I am a bit behind in the comments area.

If I can pull my finger out and get a post together I might even have a 'ta-dah' moment some time soon!



Have a beautiful day all

xxx


41 comments:

  1. I am I total admiration for you
    I am still in the foetal position on my blog
    Just waiting for the day when I want to get back to it..
    Lynnie xx

    ReplyDelete
  2. I missed you, but I definitely understand! I feel like I have nothing new to say a lot of the time. Groundhog day around here! Maybe the spring will bring you new inspiration.
    Jo xxx

    ReplyDelete
  3. helloooooo my lovely!!!!! you know what i find the hardest bit is getting back to bloggers and viwers, emails and messages...i realised lately that it was taking so much time to get through everyone, i wanted to thank everyone so much for leaving comments and asking lovely questions and it was all getting on top of me!...I had such lovely emails asking to send free packages of things- but i just dont like giving my address out to everyone willy-nilly.
    Now sophia's growing up i often think 'she must come first' and i do think walks and outing were becoming a bit 'not fun' when mummy's trying to capture a nice piccy for her blog.
    I love blogging and i love that community of lovely bloggers with similar interests. But it has to be a small part of your life not become YOUR LIFE... this is how i was feeling.
    Ive started to think about a once a month post...as to me my heads been to far stuck in blog land and my life out side of it needs a lot of work!!!!.

    I started typing you an email a few days a go...thinking exactly the same things have you've said. We must be on the same wave length.

    Big huggies beautiful,,,,xxxxxx

    ************** happy mothers day!!!!!! x X x X x ******************* for sunday! xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I completely understand where you are coming from ~ I lose so much of my time in cyberspace too and have yet to find the right balance for myself. I love blogging and the blogging community too, but equally I also hate the "guilt" that you feel if you don't feel you are posting enough, not leaving enough comments and not getting around to say Thank you to the lovely people that take the time to comment. Like you I sometimes feel that I am neglecting some important aspects of my home life ~ maybe the answer is just to switch off for a couple of days and then be strict about what time is actually to be spent at the computer. Thanks for a great and very thought provoking post! Hope that you have a very lovely weekend :O)xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's lovely to hear from you and I know what you mean about wondering how everyone else seems to keep posting and commenting without a break. Most people do have breaks at one time or another, it's justt hat they happen at staggered times so aren't always that noticable. I've slowed down recently, thinking of stopping but I know I'd miss it. You have to follow what feels right for you and if you're not getting back as much as you give maybe it's time for a rethink. By the way, your blog is beautiful and we all find it extremely interesting!
    Jess xx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ah yes - lots of familiar feelings. Although, to be fair I doubt anyone on their death bed would say 'I wish I'd spent longer on my laptop'!
    It's good to have a break - and take the pressure off for a while - everyone is still here when you get back. Better that than to resent it and feel stagnant.
    See how it all pans out....but I's miss you and your photos!
    fee x

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have the same feeling as you! pinterest, facebook, emails, blogging and everything takes so much time! Fun but I know the feeling that every day seems the same. And no time for crafting.
    I had a break from my blog for a while, recently started again with less stress about it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You were missed and very glad to hear all is well {{}}
    I reward myself with tinternet time on completing chores etc and 'try' to limit that time to afternoons or evenings when kiddos are in bed - most days it works but others it doesn't.
    Do what feels right for you, the bears and your Mr...we'll always pop by for a cuppa if you do manage a post every now and then.
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  9. Very pretty blog header :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Vanessa,

    This is so uncanny as I have had EXACTLY the same feelings about my much-more-humble blog. I have taken a step back and have even been wondering whether I should just say good-bye too. The fact the two of us are feeling the same must surely signify that many others are in the same boat too. I have been wanting to simplify things and spend less time on the computer. I have been wondering what the point of it all was. I am not a competitive person in any shape or form but I have been feeling, oddly, the need to compete with wonderful blogs out there....

    I could go on.

    Vanessa, I didn't want to disturb your peace over the last few days and so I have been waiting for you to pop up again (like a spring flower :-) ) to let you know you have won the embroidery giveaway you kindly entered a few weeks ago. So IN YOUR OWN TIME just send me your postal address. There is no hurry whatsoever.

    Lots of warm wishes form beautifully springlike France,

    Stephanie

    ReplyDelete
  11. Funny how so many of us feel the same about blogging and the feelings of guilt if we don't post/blog hop/respond, and how it can take over so much time when we could be doing other things. It is a mixed blessing, as there is so much we can share and get involved with but it all eats into "real life" time, and what with all these tempting things out there.....keep hearing about Instagram that you mention, but thats sounds just another way of eating into my day so Im reluctant to check it out!

    I hope you find your balance, and I for one will just enjoy your posts if and when you decide you want to post.

    Take care and enjoy your family time Vanessa.

    Gill xx

    ReplyDelete
  12. I totally get it. I blogging for a few years and just started back up this winter with a new mind set to let it just be whatever it is. No fuss. I post when I feel like it. And if I never have a ton of followers this go round then so be it. Real life only happens once. We need to live in each moment!
    Happy Days To You!
    Danette

    ReplyDelete
  13. I know how you feel. I've taken a back step - real life stuff that must be the priority. I now have 1400 blog posts to read in my feeder but oh well :) I love blogging, reading blogs and all the good wrap around stuff too like the photography and the graphics but it was really starting to feel like a big chore. Easing off the gas pedal a bit makes us all feel a bit better. Sam x

    ReplyDelete
  14. I hope this time you will be able to view my comment let me know if it has worked! Today the spoons arrived but i only received the Millie collection as the Claire has been discontinued :( I will spend most of tonight reading through your blog. I sometimes think you need to be in the mood to blog so i completely understand where you are coming from.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Im so sorry to read and hear about the way you have been feeling. But i understand totally its amazing how much time the computer does take up and over your life if you let it. When i first started blogging i used to answer everyones comment via mail but i was starting to get stressed out as it was taking up to much time and if i did that i didn't have the time to read and leave comments on other blogs. So decided i had to stop it just wasn't worth getting stressed over. So now i always thank everyone all together on my next post. I also decided to post just once a week and that way i always have something to share and say and also it gives me more time for other things. But your right its about finding the right balance and i also think its about being organised. Real life must always come first. It would be lovely if you still posted even if its just once a month i have always loved my visits here and i only follow and comment with people who inspire me im not one of those that follows to get a follower back if you know what i mean. What ever you decide to do i wish you all the best. Take lots of care, dee xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think you have just about summed up how we all feel at some point.
    This blogging world is totally addictive, isn't it? And with that, comes guilt, so it seems.
    Good luck with trying to reset the balance.
    And have a lovely, family-full weekend!
    Xx

    ReplyDelete
  17. I know exactly how you feel Vanessa :) I felt absolutely awful about giving up on blogging last year but it is important to escape into the real world when we can :) I'm glad you're still sticking around, I need your beautiful makes and photos in my life ;) x

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hello Vanessa, lovely to hear from you on-blog again :)
    I too have been feeling just like this. Not so much that I'm spending too much time online (although that is true at the weekends) but that I have lost my bloggy mojo and am unsure how to get it back. Tricky one.
    Have a lovely weekend x

    ReplyDelete
  19. I completely understand your feelings (I've just asked my OH to put the oven on for tea as I'm blogging!)perhaps you could take an 'as and when' approach so that it takes the 'pressure' off. That way if you find yourself with spare time and feel like a natter - post a blog. If not, don't worry! You are not alone with your feelings. I'm sure we will all understand. Good luck whatever you choose x

    ReplyDelete
  20. I hear ya. I feel ya. I understand ya. You are so close to just end it, then a "high" sweeps in and the urge to share. So you do and your back into the posting, interacting, chatting sharing and enjoying it... And then the pressure appears again. To perform. Be on stage. And you just don't want to get all "dressed up" and go on with the show... Sometimes I wonder why I do this. Why we all do it. At the same time I've learned so much, grown as a person and creative being. It is wonderful. Blogland is a fantastic place. But like with anything and everything else... Less is more... Don't binge. Don't drink to much. Don't exercise to much. Don't think to much. Don't spend to much time in virtual world... Follow your heart. If you decide to go reality, go reality. Real life is, after all, real life. Don't crash and burn for me or anyone else. We love you just the way you are. Take care of yourself. Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi Vanessa,

    I know what you mean. Blogging does take up lots of time! Glad to hear the break has done you good. I sincerely hope you will have a tad ah moment soon :-)

    Take care!

    Much love,

    Madelief x

    ReplyDelete
  22. So happy you are all right. I feel strongly in my life that my family comes first - always. I absolutely adore blogging, crafting, writing and so appreciate the contacts/friends I've made through all of this but my everyday life, as I said, my family, is always my priority. And I never feel guilty for that. You shouldn't either! I hope you continue to feel better and enjoy your every day. Have a wonderful weekend!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I, too, understand how you feel. I contemplated deleting my entire blog earlier on this year. Family and real life should come first and the cyber world is a time eater. I'm sure having a break will do you good and your readers will still be about when/if you decide to come back. I had noticed your absence and thought about mailing you but didn't as I didn't want to make you feel under pressure to post or reply.
    Have a lovely weekend. xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  24. I`m so glad that I found you:)
    Your blog is so sweet and really beautiful!!
    I`ll come back:)
    Have a relaxing weekend,
    Marge from Finland

    ReplyDelete
  25. Nice to know you are ok. I'm relatively new to blogging but I do know what you mean about the 'guilt' for not following up on every comment, for not visiting the blogs I'm following, for not having photos, time "wasted" flitting around blogs etc. etc. On the other hand blogging gives that little push to finish items, to take that photo, to record that event, most importantly, to make new friends - those are the good things. It is finding the balance that is right for you.
    Hope you have a lovely weekend.
    Carol xx

    ReplyDelete
  26. Stay true to your heart Vanessa. You must put your needs and those of your family first. Take time each day just for yourself hon - not for the virtual world (crafts and the like should be done for your pleasure and not for anyone that you dont love). Becks xxx

    ReplyDelete
  27. Yes I hear you, I had a forced disconnection with moving out for 2 weeks while painting, think pinterest the worst time user, fantastic as it is, thinking I might delete my account there especially since I read their ( very scary - we can sell your pins and you responsible!) terms. Taking a little unplugged time good for the crafting mojo .

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think this rings true with alot of us bloggers, it's such a fine balance to get right. I completely understand what you mean about the whole guilt issue, gosh I feel just terrible if I don't get around to replying to my lovely commenters, and then not finding the time to visit their blogs and let them know how fabulous they are on their own projects.
    Enjoy what you love doing. Jessie, xo

    ReplyDelete
  29. Lovely to see you back, Vanessa! I love your blog, it's always so inspiring, but I can see how it might all get too much sometimes. I often wonder how mummies fit everything in...I don't know how I used to when my children were young and I didn't even have a blog then either! Lovely to see you when you have time, but don't feel bad if you can't do everything you'd wish to.
    Have a great weekend, and Happy Mother's Day tomorrow!
    Helen x

    ReplyDelete
  30. Don't worry or feel guilty I know only too well how you feel. I'm pretty new to this blogging lark and I'm not quite where you are yet but it is taking up a vast amount of time and that's hard. You take whatever time you need I'm happy to enjoy a sporadic post of yours when you want to. Let's face it your own blog should work for you rather than you being a slave to it! Happy Mother's day and love to you xxx

    S x

    ReplyDelete
  31. Hi Vanessa, Please don't worry about not being able to post all the time, when you do it makes it even more special. I love your blog so so much and your blog amongst a few others inspired me to start blogging last November. You are an inspiration and I love your beautiful photography and your musings. Having only just started blogging I sometimes feel guilty about not posting more but there are only so many hours in the day and family and life come first. It should be fun and not a chore and only do it when you want to. I use mine to help me get creative alongside my day job and to have a little goal to achieve each week or two. I haven't had a proper crafty ta-dah moment in a long time. It's lovely to see you back online. Have a wonderful weekend x

    ReplyDelete
  32. Good for you for taking breaks and making changes when you need to. Please know that this reader in Boston, Massachusetts thinks that your blog is beautiful and oh-so-unique! I don't read another like it and I treasure your posts. So thank you. And take care!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. P.S. And stress not, no need to reply!

      Delete
  33. Oh bless you dear soul, I have been where you are and quite recently too! Didn't I find myself drifting, feeling empty, bereft, thinking what's the point??
    I think we enter these natural lulls, our bodies and minds demand that we switch off and keep it simple for a while. It's a busy old world that we occupy these days, and it's fast paced with a lot of energy involved to keep up with it all. I've also asked myself the question; what's the point?
    I know then it's time ~ time to slow down, sit down, stop. It's all good. Write yourself a permission slip ~ permission to do what you want, when you feel like it without obligation. :)

    We love your blog, how you write, your stories and your pictures. You inspire us enormously, but we don't expect you to - we just feel grateful if you feel called to and we shall continue to enjoy you for as long as you wish to share your colourful creative world with us.

    Sending you love,
    Julia x x x

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi gorgeous girl, it's funny isn't it this blogging thing? What starts as fun can soon start to feel a little bit much sometimes. I read something over the weekend which was about raising children and one father said he new he was in trouble when it all felt like an obligation instead of a pleasure. I think the same can be said for blogging.

    I love, love, love visiting your beautiful blog but like your other followers we all understand that life just takes over sometimes doesn't it. Enjoy your unplugged PC time!!

    Take care hon.
    Leah
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  35. What great words because this simply is exactly the same phase I am going through at the moment. Every now and then I wonder how other people are keeping it with their blogs, it seems to me that they have so many good time for posting and making and commenting and everything, it´s only me who constantly is running out of time during every single day. Reading my own thoughts now here with your words I have the feeling, that it really doesn´t matter how often we post, how much we are crafting within a week, how quick we reply and comment. All that matteres is that we all are here, some with a lot of followers, some with just a few, but every single blog is making this wonderful community 'round', and for me, as I love your blog and the inspiration you often are giving me, it would also be okay if you post only twice a year. Our real lifes are all so very demanding and blog time should always be fun and stay fun. And real frankly said our real lifes should be the same fun and happiness and precious to us, too or even more than that, it should be our highest priority, doesn´t matter how much we also love blogland.
    Have a great computerless time always, without feeling guilty for anything,
    with best wishes,
    Suzi

    ReplyDelete
  36. I am completely the same. It's all Blogger,Facebook, iPhones, iPad, instagram (what ever THAT is!!!!)Pinterest.........what about the real world and our children? Our chores??!!!
    I came off Facebook for good last week, I decided to never even "go there" with Pinterest and I am wondering, after a few things going on, whether to end my blog once I reach 100 followers. It's all becoming incestuous, as well.
    I feel I want to do something different.
    Last night I finished a book, then I pondered about said book and then I had a bath and went to bed at a more reasonable time.
    I think I want to put my writing to use, but only once I feel I am on top of everything there is in the home. My family must always come first.
    I think your post hits the nail on the head completely and you are the voice of many.
    X x x x x x x x x x xx

    ReplyDelete
  37. Hi,
    I was immediately drawn to your blog when drifting through others from Cherry Heart's ......I'm musing at the moment over why (bear with me please I'm a bit new to personal relaxed blogging) first i'm a crochet nut so that could be one of the reasons but not all in all . Most definitely I'm impressed that you bring the tired old granny motifs and style to life with the combination of colours you've used and that glorious throw must have taken you ages! I also like your style.....writing I mean...it made me feel I could approach you(that sounds as if I am asking for something....I'm not). Your webpage is also inviting must be the color scheme a little color psychology perhaps.
    I'm here by the way: http://crochetimust.blogspot.com.es/ but I'm very much a newbie blogger and not sure how it all works.
    Well now then .....how to I sign off.......tutting to myself as I say (think )this because all I have to do is say ........ bye :-)

    ReplyDelete

❀ Thank you so much for leaving a comment. I read each and every one. I know that time is precious so I really do appreciate it when you take the time. If you ask me a question, I will do my best to reply here in the comments section. Just pop back in a day or two and I hopefully will have replied. ❀