Wow, time flies.
I feel like I should have so much to show for not being on here as frequently since the beginning of the year.
The truth is......I've slowed down.
I've needed it.
I haven't achieved as much as I would have liked in the 'real world', but, hey, that's the way the cookie crumbles.
I feel like I haven't really achieved that much in the crafty world this year either. Then I think, I've made several blankets, which is quite an amount if I actually DO think about it. Blankets are not just something that you can churn out in a week. So I guess i've done a fair bit. They have been loved and used well, so I cannot really complain. It's the nicest thing to make something and see it becoming part of the family in every day ways.
However, the start of the new school year approached and the panic has started to set in. I seriously have come to dislike this part of the year. I feel sad that I do. I get terribly stressed, I forget stuff and ALWAYS fall short of everything, DESPITE planning and planning and planning. In some areas I am organised. Unfortunately, it's not the important areas, and with those, I can just never seem to get my act together.
I often get comments and emails from people saying my life must be wonderful and pretty.
I often get a little worried that my blog portrays me having the perfect life.
Well, I don't.
I post pretty because it keeps my happy levels up on days when I seriously feel like jumping under the duvet, and staying there all day. I live with 4 males which can seriously do my head in at times.
I rush too much, I daydream too much, I faff too much, I analyse too much, I don't do enough housework, I worry too much, I eat crappily, I retreat into myself too much, I don't socialise enough, I have hair, body, face, wardrobe malfunctions. I forget too much, I'm too sensitive, too emotional and I need to say 'NO' more. I constantly stare at mountainous washing piles that never seem to disappear, I HATE ironing with a passion. I don't have enough cupboard space and I am sick of constantly being asked to get a dog.
I often get a little worried that my blog portrays me having the perfect life.
Well, I don't.
I post pretty because it keeps my happy levels up on days when I seriously feel like jumping under the duvet, and staying there all day. I live with 4 males which can seriously do my head in at times.
I rush too much, I daydream too much, I faff too much, I analyse too much, I don't do enough housework, I worry too much, I eat crappily, I retreat into myself too much, I don't socialise enough, I have hair, body, face, wardrobe malfunctions. I forget too much, I'm too sensitive, too emotional and I need to say 'NO' more. I constantly stare at mountainous washing piles that never seem to disappear, I HATE ironing with a passion. I don't have enough cupboard space and I am sick of constantly being asked to get a dog.
I love my Bears to bits, but, what is it about boys? They JUST DON"T CARE! Not having girls, I cannot comment, and I'm sure that some will tell me theirs are just as bad!
Some of my bug bears. Recognise any of these in your household?
Some of my bug bears. Recognise any of these in your household?
I get sick of........
1. Stepping on lego and trying so hard not to turn the air blue.
2. Looking at my white wood and realising it's changed to a new paint shade called 'grubby finger grey'.
3. Saying stuff and it never sinks in.
4. Toothpaste blobs in the sink and down the side of it. HOW?
5. Drawers pulled open and never shut.
6. Constant dirty bowls and plates dumped by the sink when the dishwasher is empty and ready for dirty dishes.
7. Dirty laundry thrown on the floor when there is a laundry bin two steps away from it.
8. Cushions never on sofas and chairs but on floors.
9. TV remote never where you can find it.
10. My belongings moved or taken and no one ever admits to it.
11. Plates being used for food then being turned upside down so all the crumbs just fall on the floor.
12. More cereal on the counter than in a cereal bowl.
13. Spilt milk never being mopped up. Then when they do try, they use a tea towel after REPEATEDLY being told not to.
14. Towels ALWAYS on the floor in the bathroom.
15. Taking forever to get out of the house to go somewhere because of something lost or not done.
I could go on. I feel exhausted now! Any of those familiar in your house? Any more to add?
Love my Bears to bits, but they can irritate!
My life isn't all roses. In fact, it's only about 10% roses and the rest.......well, it's just daily life and all that comes with it.
But i've learned to be thankful for what I have. It's not much. Some days it's totally crappy, but I have a roof over my head and a healthy family. And when it all comes down to it, that's all that's needed.
I'm almost finished my 3rd blanket......... however, I got sidetracked.......yet again. I don't know why. I'm almost finished so I don't understand why I cannot stick at it. But that's me. Must be a bit flakey. I'll add that to the list too.
Promise I will get a posting up of it at some point!
xxx
Promise I will get a posting up of it at some point!
xxx
I've read your blog for a while now but never comment. This post truly spoke to me! So much of what you wrote rings true for me too. Your not alone in your bug bears, I'm pretty sure they are universal for mums of boys....god help us all ;)
ReplyDeleteI think that lot sums us all up one way or another! Don't worry about it, it's the same in most houses! That's what I tell myself anyway! I now don't bother ironing - everything usually ends up in the floor in a pile anyway in the kids' rooms! Just think about all you have achieved and give yourself a pat on the back! Have a lovely Sunday!
ReplyDeleteSarah
That all sounds very familiar! I don't have boys, I only have 1 girl, and at 12 she is a major challenge!! I can only imagine how much more stress 3 children can create.
ReplyDeleteSending happy, calming thoughts your way! Keep smiling,
Karen xxx
Just remember that one day you may wake up to find it eerily quiet (when they're all grown with families of their own)and you just might miss those irritations and wish to do it all over again... :o) Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHurrah...an honest blog post...this is exactly how life is for most of us I suspect, but blogs portraying a totally perfect and 26 hours in a day perfect house, perfect job, perfect children and crafting perfectness (oh and brilliant photographers too), to be honest, wears me down. I feel so inadequate because I am none of the above. I love my family to bits, and the major thing is you should love your hobby and it shouldn't be another chore. What you have done on your throw is absolutely gorgeous, beautiful workmanship and what a talented lady you are with a great (but normal!) family. Thank you for making me feel more "normal" today! Fiona x
ReplyDeleteI'm a LOT like you!
ReplyDeleteI faff about way too much, I'm extremely emotional and too sensitive for my own good. But I can never say no. I always put others first and do everything for others!
I'll have to learn to say no and focus on myself a little more!
x x x
Thank you for making me smile and laugh inside.As the mother of 3 boys and 2 girls I can't tell you how much better you have made me feel for not being perfect (although I try but it is impossible!!). Such a relief that I am not the only one who doesn't have the picture perfect blog life that I see so much of and although your photos are always gorgeous behind the scenes you are madly paddling like I am!! Boys are messy-so are girls but boys are definitely grubbier and spend so much time on planet boy that they can't hear our weak female voices trying to get through to them-they are fun though aren't they! Have a wonderful sunday and know that they will always love you even if they don't have a clean p.e. kit on the right day!! Debby.x
ReplyDeleteFirst time I've commented on this blog, but this is one post I can truly relate to. My husband does all the irritating things that you've mentioned...he truly is a slob. The worst...the VERY worst thing he does is leaving the toilet dirty, why does he think that's an ok thing to do?? And the second worst is wandering around outside in bare feet then walking through the house. The third is...oh, I could go on and on and on.
ReplyDeleteI might just cut and paste and make this my next post! I only really post the pretty bits of my life too - if I posted the reality I would probably get a visit from environmental health (and a psychiatrist) Keep posting happy - it keeps us Mums of boys (and undoubtedly some girls) cheerful. Stay chipper...fee (our time will come!)
ReplyDeleteps you've nearly had a million visits!!!! woo hoo
ReplyDeleteHalf of those are from me stalking V!!
DeleteI can soooo relate to your post. I live with three prime examples of the male species and they have totally convinced me that males and females should NEVER live together. Never mind a Man Cave, I need a Lady Cave preferably somewhere far distant from the house, decorated in soft pinks, lots of cushions, peaceful music, a mammoth yarn stash and NO MALES IN SIGHT!!!! I have decided that in our next house I'm definitely going to have my very own bathroom which will have a lock - a large one!!! So my friend, do not despair. You are not alone. These males are sent to try us and try us they certainly do. Just take a tip from one of my favourite movies MADAGASCAR and "Smile and wave, just smile and wave!"!!!! love and hugs. x
ReplyDeleteI hear you V - I nodded to every single one of the items on your list!!
ReplyDeleteSending ((((hugs)))).....
S x
thank you, thank you for your honesty. i love all of the beautiful, dreamy blogs that seem to portray life as i wish mine were. but, like fiona, i agree that it is wildly comforting to know that you have the same problems the rest of us have. i won't tell you to enjoy this time because it is so fleeting. my children are older now, and i am thrilled beyond measure that i am no longer stepping on legos or cleaning up milk spills and that i have long stretches of time where i can actually complete a thought. however, i will tell you that it gets better and your children do become human--eventually. someday you will be able to look in the mirror and see yourself again (with just a few more lines around the eyes!).
ReplyDeleteYes what is it about kids using a plate then turning it upside down? What the Hey????
ReplyDeleteThe one bug bear you didn't mention but I bet it's one of the top ones is: Why, when they have directional hoses, do they piddle everywhere but in the water? I am so sick of rushing in to use the loo then having to change my skirt because the back of the loo is dripping with unseen wee and I get some on my clothes and all up the back of my legs.
I have a daydream that one weekend the boyfolk will all go away with their Dad, I'll have the house cleaned on the Friday and can then please myself all weekend long in my serene and clean home. I yearn for that more than for a holiday.
let me know when this happens and I'll jump in the car and pop down!!! x
DeleteLove honest blog posts, because my life is anything but perfect and I suspect few people have as nice of a life as their blog portrays. I have two sons, a male dog and a husband, all of whom do not get it. The mess they make is crazy and their hormones even more crazy. Sometimes I just want to hide even though I love them. Thanks for the honest time you have spent with us.
ReplyDeleteMeredith
Just to let you know that girls are just as bad! My two are grown up, 19 and 15 and to add to all the things your boys do (apart from the Lego...) I also have the delight of hair dye-ing in my bathroom, bronzer and foundation on towels, sheets and lovely bedspreads, clothes lying on the floor all the time, and I mean all the time, washing coming out of their bedrooms only when I shout, dirty make up wipes in the bathroom, nail varnish application on the sofa and then taken off and bits of cotton wool all over the place and my clothes, make-up, perfume and any other thing in my bedroom is fair game, despite the fact that I'm a 51 year old gimmer! And to top it all off I have a husband who can't wee straight either and had servants in his previous life!
ReplyDeleteMrs, don't beat yourself up, life is for living, not for ironing. It's taken me this long to realise that but it's true. Make sure you enjoy yourself when you can and don't sweat the small stuff. (Just to be really cheesy.)
Make the most of this late bit of sun, do your crochet, read a book, and do the bare minimum, as little as you can get away with and if anyone cares to judge you on that then tell them to toddle off smartly. (I nearly swore then but I stopped myself!)
Your boys won't remember a clean house or their clothes being ironed, they'll remember the times you spent with them having fun. I wish I'd done more of that instead of worrying about hoovering.
x
Yep, yep, yep....I have three boys and can tick all the above, but have to agree with cuckoo that the loo thing is just the crappest thing....littlest is toilet trained but still not big enough to stand, the number of times I've sat down on a wet seat....it actually makes me feel hot under the collar just thinking of it.
ReplyDeleteI am in so many ways just like you, I'm so worried I am not going to remember something important, but not enough to sort myself out of my disorganisation.....I dread someone calling on the hop as it could be a shock just how messy my house is, this in turn makes me uptight because I am not a laid back domestic goddess.....hhhhmmmmm....I reckon there are very few that have it all together.....when we find her, I am going to lock her in my house!
I can relate to a lot of what you said, I have 2 girls under 4 and a baby boy too young yet to contribute to the mess. He is not too young however to contribute to the noise. I find I can almost live with the constant mess, the cushions being on the floor instead of on the couch, two bites being taken out of a piece of fruit before being discarded for another, all of the books being removed from the bookcase and strewn over the floor, etc etc, but I long for silence and for 10 minutes alone without a "Mum where are you".
ReplyDeletexXx Helen
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ReplyDeleteWhat a refreshing post! You are not alone. You have captured what ALL moms, homemakers, women go through on a daily basis. All the realities of LIFE. Daily life can sometimes suck! The laundry, the chores, the cooking. I was just thinking this morning how much I loathe going to the grocery store and planning out what we're all going to eat for the week. Over the years I've realaised that doing what I need to do to keep the world going around for my family, with the least amount of effort is key. And, we all must have some sort of creative passion to feed our soul. Whether it's crochet, taking beautiful photos, decorating, cooking, writing, knitting, painting - you get the idea. So keep on feeling, keep on being emotional, keep on creating and don't feel guilty about feeling guilty! I too am blessed with two wonderful girls, both under 10 and one pretty great husband, who have posed the greated challenge for me but also have given me the greatest reward. Can't wait to see your new blanket!
ReplyDeleteCan we add dirty sock-sausages on sofas, table tops and next to the computer mouse(!!??)? And white sugar spills next to the coffee maker all over the counter? And I wonder who taught a man that bread, butter, cheese, mustard, mayo, lettuce and sliced tomatoes WALKS BACK into the fridge ALL BY ITSELF after grabbing a sandwich... Bless them. Thank God we love them. Be strong. All that needs to be added is 90% of us are in the very same boat. That is refreshing. I love, just LOVE your honesty.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Annette
i feel like ive just read a blog post about my life!!..
ReplyDeletethank you for making me realise that most people are living in similar situations and that not everything is picture perfect!!
charl
x
Nice to see someone admitting that life isn't all a bed of roses, that there are lots of thorns in your side too. It does get better, when you get to my age you will have forgotten the bugbears and just remember the laughs, the good times, the times they irritated the hell out of you but then you fell about laughing at the silliness of your taking things to heart.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had read a post like this when my boys were younger..I have four and one girl..then I wouldn't have felt so guilty about not being good enough..'cos now I know that even people that seem perfect aren't and most households are pretty much the same unless you have super stamina to clean up after everyone!
ReplyDeleteBless you! I'm the only person living in my house who is a tidy soul! The other three just aren't bothered, in over 25 years I don't think Mr Bea has ever put things away! My girls do tidy up but unfortunately only when I've had a temper tantrum! Nobodies life is perfect, most people just make the best of what they have! Keep smiling, and if you really feel like diving under the duvet, then do it! It won't do your family any harm if you aren't at their beck and call! Ada :)
ReplyDeleteLol. I thought I'm the only one like that. I totally understand what you mean ,same thing around my place,only difference I have 3 girls,3 months old boy and one 43 years old boy lol. But I need to say I've given up on running after everyone and clean up, so they don't have choice really ,after a while they need to clean up their mess.
ReplyDeleteAija xx:-)
I think every Mum has a similar list of gripes and it does get depressing at times. Girls can be just as messy. My carpets were ruined long ago by dropped nail varnish, make up, art materials etc. And hubby ALWAYS sits ON the sofa cushions, not against them and doesn't see why I get fed up! You just have to try to live with it all and remind yourself that the lovely houses in the magazines have had stylists working on them for hours! xx
ReplyDeleteYou have written that a HELL of a lot nicer than I would have! I have two teenage stepchildren who have lived with us for just over two years. They are learning my ways (like rinsing the washing up before dumping it so that I don't have to scrub at it - we don't have a dishwasher unless of course you count me). Most days I struggle so hard not to shout at them the way I suspect their mother used to all the time. But then some days they can be such a joy. O has washed up every day this week without being asked to nor expected to and yesterday I bought me a little box of chocolates - just because she felt like it. They may not always show that they appreciate us, but believe me THEY DO!! Just hang in there. One day they will realise just how much they appreciate you and will tell you to sit down and relax while they do the chores for you. Or maybe they won't; maybe they'll just make you a cup of tea or bring you some flowers or something else pretty. The rewards are there, sometimes you need to look really hard to find them, but they are there.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your inner turmoil with us - I hope you can keep your chin up! Best wishes *hugs*
I can tick all of your points as happening in my house too. There used to be 3 males and sometimes 4 in my home but now I am down to 2. I wish I could say life had got easier but I think here it is a case of saving the worse to last. I'd also like to add to the list: starting a project but only completing 95% of it; leaving all the tools around for me to clear up; or if they do pick the tools up it is only to put them in the utility room never the garage; insisting it is good to have some tools to hand rather than having to search for them in said garage but why do we need to have 4 drills "to hand" plus all their batteries, drill bits and battery chargers? I could go on but I wouldn't want to depress you any further just be aware you are not alone in your suffering. Philippa xx
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteYes I DID think your blog was like all the other 'pretty, whimsical perfect life blogs'
They make me feel as if I don't do enough housework (I dont)
But now I like you more....
and I feel a lot better about my life and lack of ironing skills,I only iron when I sew.
Love that honesty and 'phew' you are a real mum after all
bestest wishes etc Daisy.
PS soo glad I only have one son.
I think this is why a lot of home blogs are written by us girls. Our chance to have a snippet of our lives our way without some of the frustrations of real life.
ReplyDeleteHaving two girls they are just as messy and so is the other half. clean the bathroom mirror in the morning a filthy mess in the morning. Cushions strewn everywhere same with crumbs. I think that is life with kids. They are messy! lol. It can drive you mad.
I only iron what is needed like the girls uniforms and DH work shirts. Rest get put away and if it needs an iron I do it quickly the night before. Life is too short to be behind an ironing board. Knowing full well that basket will be just as full the next day. A clean home is important to me but sometimes you just have to switch off and give yourself a break.
You make amazing things and you do a great job in raising your boys.
P x
helloooo my dearest and much appreciated bloggy chum!!!! you know i totally understand your thoughts and feelings!...sometimes life can look so rosy in a blog...but in reality not everything is so, I've been totally feeling like this past few months as i felt i was being judged on jolly times and piccys!...i dont document the really shitty bits cos well, i think its far too depressive, but sometimes i think its good to share what your world can really be like just so peps in bloggy laa laa land can see your just like all of us. Thats why i started to be a bit more honest, but without being constantly moaning. The thing is what floats my boat is a dream land a place to escape- but to others it looks like a fairy tale. But i want you to know you are totally fantastic!!!! and i admire you so much with 3 boys in an all male household, I know growing up with two brothers could be quite tough going sometimes despite the fact we all loved eachother so much. But i feel it too as a single mum- sometimes i feel ive done something so awful in life and now im being punished. I love having my daughter and our tight bond but id also like teh comfort of a partner to have someone to talk to in the evenings and not always feeling so a lone in such a difficult life sometimes. I try my best but im not perfect and i still cannot crochet (think im beyond teaching! boooo!)...just laughed out loud at that! lol!
ReplyDeleteGuess what im trying to say is no ones perfect and we all have our up days, down days, positive, negative, shitty, crappy days!...but we also have some really good bits and thats what we have to keep thinking of to get us through!!!!
biggest hugs my lovely!!!!!...
x Kazzy x
P.s Just needed to add most days my home looks like a bomb site and thats with ONE GIRL!!!!!!!!!! HEHEHEHE X
DeleteOh sweetheart its so true. I loved the part about drawers always left open. I kick em shut like a ninja i get so frustrated. Keep smiling love and look after yourself ok. Love from julie in oz. Xxx
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate living with 4 males myself except the dirty washing which they are actually good about. I would add never being able to hit the toilet and in the case of a mystery male, who I'm on a mission to find, not even bothering to lift the seat up and piddling all over the seat!
ReplyDeleteGirls aren't much better though. Mine has the messiest bedroom of my 4 kids and never brings her laundry down. Goodness knows what her uni housemates must think during term time.
To be honest isn't it one of the many reasons why some of us write these blogs as an escape from the mundane and crap of the everyday. This last week I've struggled with a car dying on me which was stressful as we only have one at the mo and trying to get one child into the city for high school and then back for the other to primary and then off to work where stupid admin people upset my highly vulnerable students so I spent more time calming them down than actually teaching. Then do the collecting in reverse at the other end of the day and pick up Mr from work to head of food shopping. Sunday has been like a tantilising oasis of calm that I've been heading towards. Managed to crochet on the drive to the beach and then fall asleep to the sound of the waves - bliss.
ReplyDeleteBlogging is where I can record all the things I love in my life which you do in yours. Sometimes we need a moan. To be honest girls are just the same as boys. Mine are so loving, but think clearing the table is really all they need to do, for the rest I think they see us as the unpaid staff.
X
Hi,I always visiting but never leave any comments ,thinking it might not be interesting ...but this is life ,that how they start learning,repeating was my problem too.Don't put this....in here or there?...lift it up ...Please help me to keep the house organized and clean.Do not leave your shoes in the middle,after using the sink ....please ...clean it up !!!! ....do nor leave dirty cups in the sink....and so,so,so including fix your bed before going to school....Now my son is 29 and married , my daughter is 24 and...still with us.....but my house is finally clean and organized everyday.....do not get frustrated , just assigned something to do to one of each of them....(depending to their age) having them responsible to their room and after all going to each room and check to see how they did and if they did good ....,,just having all participating in the house cleaning....could be on Saturdays.....or after school and homeworks....! they will learn....it's not easy but finally it will work....Good luck.....we all go thru all that....not even with our kids ....sometimes with our husband.....every case is similar....Happy Sunday ! :0)
ReplyDeleteHi Vanessa,
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to see one of your posts again. You are right to take it easy. The most important thing is that it makes you feel happy. Good luck with your boys!
Madelief x
I can associate with a lot of those things and I don't have children - just a husband! It really is something about the male species! I can't imagine how much harder it will be if we have a child!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is lovely and does portray the good parts of life - but that's what you'll want to remember and we bloggers all do it! Everyone has their problems, their stresses, their down times. You however are certainly not flaky - you have finished 3 lovely blankets in 8 months and where others would have given up long before (*ahem*)
xxxx
Yes, ofcourse, you are just a normal woman with males in the house. I recognize everything, and I could add more, but I think this is the way it is with boys, young or old (I know there are exceptions). Don't get frustrated, try not to be perfect, and take it easy. groetjes, Gerda (and you did make those beautiful blankets, really treasures!!)
ReplyDeleteI have no children. Just me and Mr. P. but I STILL recognise most of your list and can add golf clubs in the hall, and thinking that swishing dirty dishes in cold water (no soap) means he's washed up. Ho hum. (lovely blanket). C.x. Breathe.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't any different with girls. I can identify with every one of your points! Add to that dog hair and the constant pestering for walks or food, and it can get a bit much here too. Having said that it feels like a family home, and I wouldn't be without the chaos, mess, or even the dog hairs really. My best friend's youngest is leaving for uni this week and her house is immaculate, but she is bereft. It comes round so quickly and I am trying to appreciate it while it lasts. I still have quite a while - my girls are 12 and 10! Plenty of time left to get crabby over the dirty washing on the floor and the empty milk bottle back in the fridge!
ReplyDeleteI'd snuggle up under one of those lovely blankets and ignore the mess if I were you - that's what I do!
Cathy X
How right you have! I think we all spend more or less the same ... I tell my husband that I love him even if we never broke up again I do not put any more male home. I just have more work! with my husband and the girl, the job, the household chores, I just work and work and always stressed out and tired and tired and tired ... crochet is my salvation and my blog
ReplyDeletehttp://www.myworldofwool.com/ .
I read and see things as beautiful on the Internet ... your blog is wonderful and you are wonderful because you're a normal woman, and all women as "normal" WE ARE SPECIAL! I love knowing that I'm not the only one day explode ... and this week has been stressful! I hope you're better now and, between us, we save each other ...
Oh I could have written your post myself. My blog is my "happy place" where I mostly share the good/funny stuff that happens. Then I have days like you when I wonder why I bother because nobody in this house (and its all girls!) listens or does what they are told. As I read recently on a blog "Motherhood is a marathon". We have good days and bad days and sometimes we want to give up the running and just stand still for a moment. Then we feel the urge to carry on.
ReplyDeleteIt helps to rant occasionaly too!!! ;)
Hi hon, my son would come home from school and drop his bag just inside the front door, his tie over the banister rail, if the downstairs loo door was open eua' teenage boy shoes would waft gently around the house, if the loo door was shut the fool who opened it was hit full on by this aroma in its most intense completely undiluted state and need resuscitating. Down the hall leading to his downstairs bedroom were various other bits of boy detrius, his blazer, his really disgusting and always wet rugby kit, various messy files and folders, sweet papers etc, just scattered in his wake. Quite often the problem was mulitplied by him bringing home other equally untidy boys with equally cheerful grins and total disregard for my sanity. My poor sweet cat was often to be found pathetically meowing on the delph rail because she daren't jump that far, his younger sister was confronted with mumified dolls hanging from light fittings and on one occasion my favourite planter fell apart when I touched it because it had been in an accident with a football (in my hall) and he and his enterprising sidekick had sellotaped it back together. The washer was aways full and the fridge was always empty. I would come home and pick stuff up and mutter, occasionally this would turn into a rant and on one memorable occasion there was actual violence (I smashed 8 milk bottles against the wall, I had been saving them for some reason) Then he left home, as they do inevitably. My hall smelt fresh, the downstairs loo no longer had a public heath warning, the fridge was still reasonably full even 2 days after going shopping, the house was tidy and God was it quiet!. Strangely the things that drove me to distraction were the things I missed most. I even missed his friends. He's 30 now, all grown up with a mortgage, lovely girl friend and proper job and I'd have every untidy minute again if I could, even the ones where he smiled at me and said yes mum and we both knew he wasn't really listening. You are having a lovely life, you are a lovely lady, you just need to go outside and scream, smash a few milk bottles and take deep breaths. All will be well because all is well. You are a mum, thats it, the most frustrating rewarding job in the whole world. Soon it will be gone and your house and sanity will be restored to you, and sometimes that will be lovely and just sometimes you'll p'raps miss the chaos too xx
ReplyDeleteLove this post and all the comments! I have 2 girls under 5 and an 11 year old son so I can tick all the boxes too! And I don't think my hubby can wee straight either. I completely understand the struggle to keep track of (school) things for the kids, although I don't find this time of year so bad - its June and July I hate! And I really struggle with those times when I can't even get a bit of peace in my own head! I've stopped blogging recently cos I've lost sight of the pretty touches that brighten up the day.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we should start a support group for harassed mothers with real lives?
i would join that support group. desperately. can i be first in line?
DeleteI don't even have children and I can relate to most of that list! The one that frustrates me most is when my darling husband denies doing something when there's only the two of us in the house, does he really think that'll work?!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous post hon. I bet every Mum reading it is silently nodding away with every sentence, briefly looking up from the screen to see how many cushions are currently on the floor and in my case, briefly looking under the table to see how much of breakfast this morning is still there waiting for me to deal with it! I am happy in the knowledge that I have become a totally pants housewife (thank you - I love that word) - and that some days I can't decide where to start with it all ... so instead I ignore it and get my crochet hook out! Have a fab week hon.
ReplyDeleteLeah
xx
So with you on the 'list' - if it's not lego it's a barbie doll and then you feel it crunch, broken! kind of ironic when it's thrown out.
ReplyDeleteI think all Mums agree with you on this, and so many more things to add!!
I only have one boy, but two girls, my son is actually the most organised and keeps his room tidiest - it's my darling daughters...... 3 plus outfit changes in any given day, and subsequently clothing pulled out and all over their floors, and yes! they are the ones that take all my stuff! ipod, brushes, and even my house keys?!
This is a wonderfully, honest post - thank you so much for sharing,
Heidi
Thank you so much for sharing and being so honest! I have been encouraged reading about what bugs you as all of these and more have been happening in my household for many years. No matter what routine or new idea I come up with to "change" some of these habits it stays the same! I think they are just in their own little world , they try because they do want to make me happy but they are so distracted!! You just gotta love them!! I have learned that I have to let it go and then we all pull it together whenever we have company!
ReplyDeleteI have had a friend of more than 20 years who lives that "perfect life" with her husband and 3 girls. Never is anything out of place due to having a very strict husband! But as her girls have grown up they all have moved far away! Her youngest is the only one at home and she strives to keep very busy all of the time to be away from home!! I'll keep my "imperfect" house with my unorganized life and enjoy my kids and their friends popping in and out, never knowing how many new faces will be at the dinner table that night! These are the times that we will remember as the best times! I just wish I had known this earlier so that I didn't spend soooo much time worrying!! I really did spend a lot of time trying to figure out what I was doing wrong!!
I love seeing your beautiful and inspiring photos and I appreciate when you do share with us!! I wish for you a life full of joy with less stress!! XO Colette
I have 2 sons, grown and gone from home. I do remember those days! Funny how it doesn't seem so long ago, but my youngest is about to turn 37.
ReplyDeleteLove your photos and beautiful blankets. They always make me smile. Thanks so much for sharing.
Steal a bear hug or two for me, I miss that the most!
Lona in Texas
Good on you for being so honest, all your gripes are on my list too, and just so you know, my daughter is far messier than my boys!
ReplyDeleteI think this is my most favourite of all your posts - EVER! Oh boy can I relate - to everything on your list I thought 'snap'...me too!!! I am the only female in a male dominated house too and I sure do get sick of smelly boys sometimes (and we have the dog -trust me - dont go there!). You are pretty and clever, creative and wonderful - I come to your blog for a dose of bliss when the world seems dark and horrible. But it is nice to know you are human - it only makes me adore you more. Becks xxx
ReplyDeleteI totally get your post, your bit about stepping on Lego I can relate to (but in this house you are stepping on Nerf gun bullets!) and as a mum of two boys (and the hubby acts as the third little boy sometimes) I can totally sympathise with the feeling of chaos, of the constant mess, its amazing what we mum's do! And not to forget the feeling that we're running a restaurant 24/7!
ReplyDeleteHope things calm down soon and you get a bit of time to yourself. Best wishes Vanessa xx
I totally "get" your post. And I have to tell you as the mother of 5, 1 boy and 4 girls I experienced pretty much all those things on your list and many more. Girls (well my girls) are just as messy as boys so it's all perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do. But I will tell you now, as a grandmother of 8, that I would give anything to go back to those days.. they were truly the best times and one day you will come to realise that as well. Keep your world, and ours "pretty" with your blogs and know that we are all dealing with our own dose of reality :) Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAll sounding very familiar. I have two daughters but you have pretty much described what goes on in my house! One to add - I tidied my 11 year old's bedroom and told her how I wanted her to keep it tidy so we could invite more of her friends round. She then proceeded to "tidy" her desk drawers, which led to make up and colouring pens, pads etc being spread all over her bedroom floor and not being put back until I did it. I'm also learning to listen but not comment on the constant criticism that comes out of an 11 year old girl's mouth. Talk about judgmental!! Make a cup of tea, put your feet up and do some relaxing crochet, it works wonders for me. xx
ReplyDeleteI can tick all the boxes on this post too! (and girls are no better I have both and girls are worse lol!)
ReplyDeleteI have started to ignore the washing/ironing /housework for a bit and not do it so many times aday/week or else I'd do nothing else.
Enjoy your children enjoy your crochet we all grow old too quickly and time is precious.
Your crochet is beautiful and I love looking at your pics and post on here and instagram.
Hugs Debbie x
Except for the Legos, I could totally relate to that list. And I have 2 girls. I keep trying to tell myself that I will miss these days when they are gone but sometimes I'm too frustrated at cleaning up after them to believe it!
ReplyDeleteI love this post, so absolutely honest and an accurate account of many of our lifes. I havent got children yet, but have a little boy on the way. My partner irritated the stuffing out of me this weekend with his xbox. He was playing a game which he has now complted after hogging the tv for a week, it had constant swearing, loud noise and volence in it, I kept telling him tio turn the sound off which annoyed him.
ReplyDeleteBut he did take a day off Friday to turf the garden so I cant complain too much.
Ive tried for 10 years to house train him, to get him to pick his socks and clothes up off the bedroom floor to tidy up if his glass etc if he comes to bed after me etc. But it fell on deaf ears.
How do you house train a man? ANY ideas without sounding like a total nag I've tried and failed. I love him non the less and just get on with it for a quiet ish life.
I love all your beautiful creations, and your blog, I start a crochet course the end of this month after being inspired vby you, cant wait.
It's very familiar for me. I have a daughter and a husband. I must do something in the house every day. If I want to stay one day, the next day the house is a mess. I'm so tired! My eyes are tired, too. I want to feel that I'm liveing. I want to do something with my life, not just cleaning.
ReplyDeleteyes, i am the lone female in our household too...at the end of the summer holiday my Husband took the boys away for 3 nights to visit his mother,this was the first time I have ever been 'home alone' over night since children - I tidyied the house on the Friday morning - it stayed tidy ALL weekend! and no, I didn't miss them at all!
ReplyDeleteOh phew! I've admired your prettyness from a far for so long and now I realise that you too are normal and suffer from 'bear syndrome' It is an illness that affects many and I'm afraid there is no cure. PiP, Cath and a spot of hooky are your only release!
ReplyDeletehello, i feel like i could have written this post myself and it has me reflecting that our blogs are our happy places and if we want to keep them pretty and clutter free, we shouldn't need to apologize for that. i think of my blog as my little online club house. enjoy your club house. i hope that made sense. now off to watch out for legos on the floor ...
ReplyDeletexo
elyse
I love your blog and almost everything you say resonates with me. My 2 sons are now grown up but nearly everything you say still holds true when they are home, except for the lego, and the toothpaste in the sink has been replaced with stubble! Worst of all, the things you list still happen when my boys are not here, because hubby does all of those things - well I suppose they had to learn from someone...
ReplyDeleteMost days I try to rise above it and quietly clear up after them/him (especially since my dad died a few years ago and I keep telling myself that my Mum would love to have him still around to clear up after)but I have days where all I feel is despair at how disrespectful it is of them to always expect me to clear up after them.
I don't think there's an answer, but it's good to know that there's many ladies out there that feel our pain...x
thank you for being so honest, I know how you feel, I guess everyone does...
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog for a while now, never felt like leaving a comment, bit to shy I guess.
But I'm sending you a big hug from Holland! you will survive! ;-)
xoxo
Ha ha soooo recognisable. Thank you for sharing. Sometimes these perfect picture blogs make me feel a little bit sick. Mind, not yours! We get to dream away with you in your blog and from time to time you share the other 90 percent so we are reasured we're all normal. I never comment but now that I do I would like to say I love crocheting blanckets too and you are an enourmeaous source of inspiration to me!
ReplyDeleteGreatings from Belgium.
Ann
Thank you for being so honest. Really refreshing. Definitely can relate to much of your list. I only have one little boy but the Husband counts as another one. Infact he counts as two! He doesn't use a plate at all despite constant nagging. I'm 10 weeks away from another baby arriving and I'm wondering if I'm going to get a girl to even things out or another boy so I'll be out numbered too. I love your blog by the way. Fiona x
ReplyDeleteI think we might be related, lol. Xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh Vanessa, you can't possibly know how happy you have made me feel!!! Its a bit like you are mirroring my life!! I have no idea where you are from, for some reason I feel like is Australia, I don't know why, perhaps because I have met so many lovely aussies online, but anyway our lives are soooo similar!!! This is me all over, right from the posting pretty pics to boost my happy-o-meter, and the not achieving anything in the real world (too busy faffing, pootling and pottering), to not being able to say no to ANYTHING (I feel mean ... and I don't like the thought of missing out!) so having too many balls in the air at once and dropping them all over the place!!! Isn't it strange how the new school year is unsettling, I find that I've just about got myself into the perfect routing by the end of July and then BAM its the summer hols and I have to start all over again come September, just little changes here and there seem to take an AGE to get used to... I'm in total chaos at the mo, my littlest one is the biggest handful EVER, I thought having another girl would be easy (my middle one is a girl and the perfect child), but oh no, this little pickle has a totally different take on the world, I have to keep her busy All The Time to keep her out of mischief, I can't take my eyes off her, last week she scampered off and a minute later she'd fallen from my son's bed and broken her arm (I'm just soooo thankful that was all that happens, I keep playing it over and over in my head...) Anyway, she has since managed to take her cast of four, yes FOUR times, I am spending far too much time in A&E, they recognise us now, infact my daughter is known as Houdini!! I'm trying to give my son lots of extra support with his school work at the mo too as he needs a boost (although I think he sees my love, help and support more as the worst punishment ever!) I had a rather timely internet break down last week so had all hands on deck, but its back on again and just in time for me to have a little internet escapism - Its much healthier to focus on reality, but its nice to be able to escape a little too ... Oh and before I pop off to get my daughter up from her nap, I have to add TOILETS to your list, everything about them drives my up the wall, unreplaced toilet rolls, sprayed seats, unflushed business, dirty floors .... yuk yuk yuk!!! Anyway, lovely and refreshing to hear from you, you made me chuckle and brightened my mood! xxxx
ReplyDeleteI tidy and he messes, I clean and he dirties, he likes noise whilst I like peace and quiet. From this stream it seems they are all guilty of the same misdemeanours. I'm looking forward to an old age of deafness and lady companions :) p.s. don't tell him I said so!
ReplyDeleteYes, I know your pain. I too lived with 4 men. We only have one left at home and he will marry next June. We do have grandchildren....Yep, 2 boys. I came from a home where there were 4 of us girls plus mom & dad. I understand girls. After all these many years I still don't understand boys/men. I chuckled a bit (sorry) when reading your blog because I have walked in your foot steps. One peeve that I always had was their missing the potty-or not lifting the lid and I sit in "it". AND NO ONE EVER DID IT!!! But I do miss my little sons. I would trade anything to have them all little, making messes and being home with me once again.
ReplyDeleteSending you a big HUG!
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI have two girls and a boy. The mess is the same. I love my kids, really I do. No-one ever told me that to be a mother is cleaning up all the time, wash and iron all the time and never sit for one minute. That part is crap. When I would not have to do these things, It would be less exhausting and more fun. But it is what it is :)
" I don't do enough housework"
ReplyDelete"I eat crappily"
" I don't socialise enough"
"I'm too sensitive, too emotional and I need to say 'NO' more"
"I constantly stare at mountainous washing piles that never seem to disappear"
"I HATE ironing with a passion"
.....
Can we be real life neighbors so I know I'm not the only mom in a 5 block radius that feels like this? I'll do your ironing! (I actually find it quite soothing. Must be the repetitive motions).
Even with one of my two littles in school I still feel like I get nothing done most days. I've actually taken staying up all night getting things done that should have been done during the day. I'm too busy (and tired from staying up all night doing housework) during the day trying to keep my blossoming 3 year old daughter in one outfit. (No joke. just the other day she changed her clothes -by herself- 4 times in a 6 hour period. no rhyme or reason. just because she could) and get her to pick up her barbies. I think stepping on a barbie hand or foot is just as painful as legos (which i refuse to let in my house by the way. we often have friends with infants come over for visits on the weekends so legos are a no no until there are no more babies). The cat's been snippy lately too. must be the change in weather (fall is definitely on its way to Northern Utah). someone in the family winds up being used as a scratching post daily lately. just today it was hubby. (he sat down for breakfast and apparently the cat thought his feet were far too close to her -2 feet away- and so she attacked his leg. poor hubby)
I can't complain too much about the not listening part. my poor boy has a legit excuse. his O.D.D. and ADHD make it hard for him. we take it in baby steps. poor kid has a temper. we blame the blood running through his veins (german and italian on my father's side, scotish and irish on my mother's). if we aren't careful he blows like a volcano and it sends the house into chaos for days. and he's only 7. (can i skip he teen years?)
I also have the 'nobody' did it problem. i must have invisible children. at least that's what i tell myself to explain the natural disaster that is my house at the end of the day.
my poor tired brain. thought I was done so it moved my hand over the post button and clicked. I have managed to get some pretty crochets done. my best friend since high school is moving to Arkansas with her new hubby sometime in the next month. she has never lived in a snow zone before. I made her a lovely scarf in her favorite color, and made her hubby a ear flap beanie for when he goes hunting (it's done in camo. it was my first attempt at a beanie. so glad his head is larger then mine. it about swallows me whole). just the other day her hubby's lovely auntie (i want her to adopt me she is that awesome) was diagnosed with breast cancer. he asked me to make some ribbons for him to pass around the family. i spent 2 hours wrapped in pink yarn, 2 shades of pink sewing thread, pink and white beads and came out with 20 3 inch tall awareness/support crocheted ribbons, 3 4 inch normal ribbon support/awareness ribbons and a 6 inch crocheted ribbon. the larger one goes to his aunt. she goes in for surgery on Monday and is a bit afraid but knows she has a large support group behind her no matter the end result of the surgery.
DeleteI sighed a huge sigh of relief that I'm not the only one with a house full of (messy) males.....Yes to all of the things you mentioned, and to whoever mentioned the Loo Problem!! OOOH how it drives me MAD. Thankyou xxx
ReplyDeleteoh this post is amazing!!! i swear i could have written it!!
ReplyDeleteI use my blog pretty much for just happy things to. Underneath the surface though, things can be very different. But my blog helps remind me that there are lovely things too xxxxx
Wow....I really need to read that. That is exactly how I feel most of the time!
ReplyDeleteWell done for your honest posting!
xxx
Wow.... You could have done a guest post on my blog...and said all these things for me...EVERYTHING you've said here resonates so sure and true with me too....."I rush too much, I daydream too much......to....I don't have enough cupboard space and I am sick of being asked to get a dog".....totally me...and all numbers 1to 15....you couldn't have described our home any better if you'd tried....one thing you didn't mention was siblings fighting....do you have that too...cause that is constant in my house....I mean CONSTANT....Thank you for voicing exactly how I feel....you took the words right out of my mouth.....it's so much easier I think, when you know you're not the only one struggling with life's ups and downs.....it certainly helps me....thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.....I adore all your beautiful photos....which bring a ray of happiness and sunshine to my day....I hope you'll be feeling more relaxed and "together" now the Bears are all settled back into school and routine -xx-
ReplyDeleteOh my... that's my house also. I'm feeling really bad about me not being motivated enough to clean the house properly, to decorate, to create, to eat the right things... and having 6 pets that demolish the house on a daily basis! I think I'll start the "Fly Lady" plan of dealing with a messy house.
ReplyDeleteIt'll be better when they get older. In the meantime put up a list of rules and consequences if they aren't met?? Just a suggestion.
ReplyDeleteThe list of things that really irritate you would absolutely irritate me till my head fell off. I don't have children so have the luxury of tidying up only after me, and frankly I don't know how I manage to make such a mess but I do, if I had any help in the mess department you'd have to dig me out from under a pile. I love that you post so honestly about your feelings, Vanessa. Sometime I want to have a right good ole rant on my blog but feel like I have to keep things positive. Life isn't all rosy though and day-to-day things can really grate on the nerves till we're exhausted. I appreciate your honesty, and hope that you find some guilt free time for you. Em x
ReplyDeleteJust like others, this sounds like everyday life in our house! Take comfort that there are lots of us out there who have the same life - LOL!! K xx
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how we always thinks everybody else's life must be easier than our own. Your blog reflects a lovely place to visit and it is so full of beautiful images and things that one could believe that everything is perfect in your world. I feel the same way about living in a house with three men two of them my teenage boys. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and also all your lovely images and projects I love reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit late but...I have girls and I relate to all of the above. With tweaks like, replace lego with tiny dolls and accessories, hair clips, hair bands, brushes, hair full stop! And 'making' stuff...everywhere. Obviously I encourage all the making but it would be nice if they could clear up after themselves.
ReplyDeleteOh, and I am bout to paint my walls in a 'mushroom' AKA dirty finger colour. I hear your cries :-) x
That is exactly what it is like in my house...only I have to live with 3 boys and a demented boy cat. No wonder we spend more time making things than clearing up...at least when you make something it is a thing of beauty..keeps me sane...just :)
ReplyDeleteLucyx
Oh my gosh, #6 is my Numero Uno pet peeve. Every single day, and several times a day, I'm mumbling under my breath about all those dishes in the sink that belong in the dishwasher. As a result, I must do the dishes - seriously - at least 5 times a day.
ReplyDeleteYeah... #6. Why?! Mine are now old enough that #1 is no longer a problem, but I SWEAR I live with cavemen! Thank you for being real, and honest, and validating for the rest of us that we all struggle with staying positive. PS. I've been working on a big ol' blankey for my 6' 2" teenager since before summer. Poor guy's feet stick out of all the store bought ones but he'll be lucky if it's finished before winter ends...
ReplyDelete