The Decision To Say Goodbye.......

To be honest......I'm not really sure how I feel about writing this post. All kinds of emotions. Blogging has been a part of me for a fair few years now. In the past I have had my bloggy wobbles, wondering what on earth I am doing here, blabbering in a little corner of the internet. I'm a quiet, and incredibly shy person, and the wobbles usually come when I'm going through a period of deep thought. If it passes and I think of it less, then I seem to be fine to waffle away and chat about my ordinary little life and makes.

Over the past six months or so, the feeling of reflection has stayed with me, and there has been this constant battle in my head about whether it is time to say goodbye to my little space here. It was about whether I felt I had anything to say, or worth showing/recording. I kept waiting for the moment to pass, so as not to make any decisions I would regret, but it hasn't really.

I started this blog at a point in my life where I realised that I didn't know.....remember.....who I was. I had slipped into so many other roles, that there was nothing I did that was just for me, or that was a reflection of just me.

I stumbled upon the world of blogging by chance one day, and suddenly became aware of lots of other people who were in the same position as me (mums to young children, who had a passion for craftiness). It opened up a whole new world to me. As I read posts of tales of parenting, crafty exploits and inspiration abound, I knew that this was something that would almost 'save' me.

And I guess it did. I became part of a community that had just as much passion for making and creating as I did. I could be totally me, yet be at a distance that helped with my shyness.

In the early years, my little old space here grew, and I began to realise that I was quite uncomfortable with being 'noticed'. Although flattered to be asked, the thought of book deals, magazine spreads and promoting myself, absolutely horrified me. To someone who has spent her life doing everything to be invisible, stuff like this didn't make my heart beat with excitement like it would to others. I battled with people telling me I was stupid for not seizing opportunities or jumping out of my comfort zone. So I tentatively tried with small things.....and I HATED it. So I retreated from my blog. If I wasn't on it, then people wouldn't ask me to do stuff.

Instagram, was little known at the time and I started to be on my blog less to run away from it all, but use that instead to channel any creativeness. When I realised Instagram was becoming more successful than blogging to bloggers, my natural instinct was to go back to blogging, where there would be less people reading what I had to say.

I always thought that returning 'full time' back to blogging, I would be quite clear in what I wanted with my space. I didn't want it to 'grow'. I just wanted to record stuff for myself. I love taking pictures, and am a very visual person, so any little pockets of 'happy' in my house or day I wanted to capture. Believe me, when you're a girly girl living with messy males, you feel like you want to record pretty and girly; so when you look back over the years, you are reminded that it wasn't all used socks all over the house, wrappers stuffed down the sides of beds and food plates left here, there and everywhere. I would lay my life down without question for my Bears, but by gum, their mess knows no bounds!

So that's what I wanted from this little space. Being a people pleaser, I feld kinda selfish saying 'no' to this that and the other, but it got a little easier. I guess, over the last few months I have been wondering if I really need this space to speak. I'm not really sure what I have to say is at all interesting, and if I'm honest, really honest, to look back at these posts in years to come, I won't be reading the posts, I'll only be looking at the pictures and remembering. I love to take photos, but I have Flickr to record those. I love making stuff, but I have Ravelry to record those. So I guess I have been asking myself for the last 6 months, 'Do I need this space here?'

Blogging has changed over the last few years. I was going through my blog roll, and so many blogs have been abandoned in favour of Instagram now. And even the bloggers left, post less frequently.

Don't get me wrong. I think Blogging still has a valuable place in crafty society.....it's just I feel that it's time for me to retreat into invisibility again.

So, I have made the decision to blog for the next couple of weeks in the the run up until Christmas, with anything crafty that I can muster. I shall then have a couple of weeks enjoying Christmas with the Bears, and end my blog at the end of this year.

Don't worry, My blog will remain here in cyber space. I shan't be taking it down. I shall still be taking as many pics as I always have done, I'll just be recording them on Flickr instead. If I make anything crochet (or you never know....knitty) related, I'll record it up on my Ravelry page. Any questions, I'll still be contactable, so if any help is needed with any aspect of stuff I have made in the past, then I will always try and help. I'll still be reading blogs, and if I haven't forgotten my login details, I'll try and still comment on blogs when I can. I'll also still be as mad as a hatter on Pinterest too. I've never said 'never' to going back on Instagram, so you never know know, one day it might appeal again. But for now, invisibility appeals more.

I just wanted to explain my decision. I know there are many readers of this little space here who have followed my journey from the very beginning. I am so thankful to each and everyone of you, for thinking my posts worthy of taking a few minutes out of your precious time to read. I hope maybe something I have posted along the years has been of some inspiration in some way. Thank you also, to all of you who have left comments. Again, I am only too well aware of how precious time is these days, so to not only read here, but take the time to say 'hi' and chat for a bit......well.....it has always overwhelmed me really.

Thank you x

xxx