I'm in a bad mood.
I think I might just be a little crazy.
I have so much to do, I don't know where to start.
I decided to post and read others posts in a bid to calm me down.
My bad mood started yesterday evening. The Bears were driving me crazy. Bickering......NON STOP. It was wearing. I just needed quiet, and I couldn't get it. I love Big Bear to bits, but that kid can't half talk. Usually when i'm concentrating on something and he likes to start mid conversation about something computer related. I don't know why he does that. I think he's like me, he starts a conversation off in his head and then just transfers it mid sentence to out loud. I just don't get what he's talking about.
Baby Bear was Karate chopping everywhere with very loud sound effects. Middle Bear was a bit hyper as he was having a whole year sleepover at school today. Then there was Football. Annoying football. I love (NOT) how we get so hyped up for England to do well and then epic fail...as always. I'm just a bit sick of Football. An obscenely over paid bunch of men who have a talent for pushing a football along with their feet. I have a talent for eating 10 packets of crisps in 60 seconds, but I don't think anyone would pay me more than 50p to see that show.
Sadly going to bed and sleeping on my bad mood did not lift it. For, getting up and stepping on the worst piece of lego to step on, proved that....yeap......it was still there. Juggling a million things this morning, all whilst the Bears sat around moping did little to help either.
So Quiet now. All dropped off at school. Wow, I have needed this.
But no rest for the wicked. The house is a tip and it needs sorting. I was sorely tempted to think 'sod it all' and pick up my crochet hook. I have about half an hour of ends to sew in and my little wip would be done, but I feel too irritated to start it. I need to feel the sense of achievement of getting something done around the house.
My mum calls and asks if she left a tapestry at my house when she was over last, as she can't find it anywhere. No I reply. She is stumped. Then she was questioning whether she actually did bring it over to show me or just thought about bringing it over to show me and not doing so at all! I reassure that she did bring it over and that she didn't leave it. She has looked everywhere for it and it has just disappeared.
So..........I say goodbye to my mum and I faff with shelving. It's the last thing that needs doing in the house but I decide it's good for my sanity. Start with a happy task and then move to the thankless and non rewarding tasks. When in doubt, more colour to lift my mood. Except it lead me to thinking about something, and now......well......I just think i'm going crazy and experiencing deja-vu to boot.
Have you ever thought you had a memory.....what you thought was a clear memory.....but the more you thought about it, the more you wondered if it was an actual memory or whether it was actually a figment of your imagination?
I'm seriously doubting my sanity at the moment!
Whilst faffing with nonsense on my shelves, I decided that it would be good to get all my picnic-y stuff together. Picnic weather is here now and I truly love nothing more than a picnic. So I start to get all my bits of melamine together and I had a thought.
I was sure that I bought a rather colourful flask a few months ago. I saw it in a shop. It was like the very colourful Rice DK ones, only a lot cheaper. The fact that it was bright and cheerful, (and really rather cheap) attracted me. I have a memory in the shop of picking it up and looking at the price and popping it in my basket. I'm sure I looked inside the flask and saw it had a shiny glass type inside. I also have a vague memory that when I bought it and got it to the car, on opening the boot, I bumped the bag on the car and hoped that I hadn't damaged the inside of the flask. I also have a vague memory of bringing it home and putting it on a table. But that's it. I realise that I haven't seen the flask from that moment. Nowhere in sight. The fact that I haven't thought about that flask since then makes me question if I did buy it?
It was around the time the kitchen was in chaos so it would be reasonable that it was put somewhere else. So that would explain the lack of memories of it being in the house, but can I find it? I have looked everywhere. It's bugging me. Today is not a day where I need added 'bugging'! So, now i'm thinking, 'Did I actually buy it?'. Well, yes, Vanessa, of course you bought it because you remember buying it. But did I? The more I think about it, the more I question if my memories are real? The fact that I don't have any more memories to do with it make me question if I actually ever bought the blinkin' thing in the first place. Maybe I just looked at it in the shop and wished I could buy it!
OH DEARY ME.
I seem to think that it is with another jug thermos I have that 's getting on a bit......and can I find that? NOPE. So maybe there is hope. I can't even find the one I definitely know I have! Maybe I did buy it, or maybe i'm like my mother today. Maybe it will turn up years down the line and I will shout 'YES, YOU"RE NOT MAD', or maybe it will never turn up, because I never actually bought the bleeding thing in the first place.
Ever do that with your food shopping? Feel sure you have bought something but your receipt tells you otherwise. Maybe you did, but it fell out of the trolley, or maybe it got put back on the shelf and your brain never registered it. I've had my fair share of Babay Bear taking things back out of the basket that I've put in.
Oh my head hurts now with all this thinking.
Right......enough on this. Draw a line vanessa and crack on with the mundane. Bleurgh. I know this is going to bug me all day.....
....but hoorah it's the weekend tomorrow.
I want a cup of tea in bed and I want to be LAZY.
Man, what a moany post! Geez shut up woman!