Friday, 29 August 2014

Drifting.....









It's been a while.

Apologies for my absence.

I have needed a little break.

In truth, I haven't really had much enthusiasm for blogging.....or much else really.

It's all been about the day to day here.

The Bears have been really rather good this summer hols. Not so much bickering. Big Bear seems to have matured a lot this summer. Suddenly he is so grown up and adult like. I feel pride, but a tinge of sadness too. Where has the time gone? This baby born so small, whose whole hand could fit on my finger nail......taller than me, deep voiced now......sigh.

It has been a strange summer holiday this year.


This month of August seems to have flown by. I have been floating by alongside it. I realise by saying 'floating by', it sort of implies floating, as meaning, floating, dreamily and happy. My sort of floating is a weird sort of floating. Like suspended in air, and being gently pushed along. So I shall perhaps settle for 'drifting' (even though it feels more like floating).

An aimless drift.




Not being able to anchor myself to anything, but grabbing hopelessly at everything as I see it going by me. I get this feeling every now and then. It passes, so I just roll with it.

I have these lines going round in my head when I lay my head on the pillow at night...

'....A herd of shepherds to herd the sheep, sleep now my only one....'

I have those lyrics in my head when I close my eyes at night.

I've been listening to Kate Bush a fair bit at the moment. I actually listen to her a lot, but I always find when I feel the way I do, I am usually drawn to her more. It transports me to time in my life when, for various reasons, she was always played. A time in my life, when I look back on it, was really just perfect. So when I listen to her, I feel how I felt all those years ago. In a split second I am calm, I am comforted, I feel safe; and for the time I hear her voice, I feel like I am all okay again. It's my fail safe. Good old Kate.

 I feel like I've been here in body, but my mind is elsewhere. Before I know it, the day has gone, and I can't say that I've been utterly present in it. I'm aware this makes me sound quite weird. Probably it's coming across as more weird than it actually is though.

I think I just have been very lost in thought.

VERY

My younger brother tells me I think too much. I realise I DO over think everything...to the point of missing opportunities.........perhaps. 

I tell him he is WAY too impulsive. 

He notes this too. 

We wonder how we can both be so different.




I think I'm spinning a lot of plates. I don't like plate spinning. I like plates firmly on shelves.........perfectly still. I'm out of my comfort zone. It unsettles me. I think this is a period of change for me too in many aspects of my life. Subtle changes.....but still, I am not good with change. It takes me a month or two to adjust to things. Also, I can feel the subtle shift in the weather. The summer is fading. I don't think I am ready for anything else yet. So many grey and wet days leading up to the sunshine. I longed for it so hard this year, more than I have ever done so I think.  I'm not ready to give it up. I'm not ready for the change into Autumn.



I'm just not ready.





I have thought about my blog space here too. I had to decide really, last year, where I was going to go with it. After being absent on it so much with being more on Instagram, I had to think about what I wanted from this little space here. I felt like people wanted more of me than I was prepared to give, or,  I suppose, felt comfortable giving. That's why for a while, Instagram seemed the happier option. I felt like I was being a bit overwhelmed here and it was easier to just run away onto Instagram. People asked things of me which would have 'promoted' me.  I realised I just wasn't all that comfortable with it. Shyness I suppose played a big part, but I immediately felt like I was losing control a bit. I didn't like the feeling that perhaps I might start to lose what say I had in stuff that mattered to me.




I know people say it's good to get out of your comfort zone, but I just find it so difficult. Like I said....I'm no good with change. So, I decided last year to ditch Instagram, and come back full time to blogging.........but to scale it all back. Just go back to basics, and feel happy and unpressured with what I was doing.......and when I was doing it. Mostly I think I am happy with my choice. Sometimes I feel that maybe I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face. My close friends think  I am an idiot and that I've totally wasted opportunitues. Perhaps I have. So when people start knocking at the door once more, I have to ponder on it all over again. 

The parable of the drowning man springs to mind.




It's a double edged sword this blogging malarky at times. But I wouldn't trade it. I have my wobbles at times, when I'm restless, or when I self doubt, but, I'm always glad I have this space to record bits of my life and things that I make. And I do so love this community here. It feels special. Many bloggers I started this road out with have totally ditched their blogs now, succumbing to the Siren's call on Instagram. I know there is a huge crafting community on there, but the community on here feels exta special. Maybe just because it's smaller...maybe more concrete. Maybe because blogs are more than about a picture. It's nice to have something concrete to record. A permanent diary. A chunk of a day, week, month.....and not just a moment. I know I'll be glad in years to come that I had kept this little space to record my thoughts....my moments in time.








So, I think I'll be happier when the new term starts. 

Order again.




Less time to over think. Less mess around me, with the three bears back in school. A tidy house, a tidy mind. A clear.....fresh mind.



I shall miss the leisurely breakfasts though. They seem to last right through until lunchtime.

Slow pouring coffee

Jam that always has the lid off

The waft of fresh toast....





....Yes, I have enjoyed that very much.

But I am ready for the order to begin.

I will have adjusted to the shifts of time and life, and be more myself again. I know I'm not alone in this feeling. We all get it from time to time. I think it's maybe just several moments of my life changing subtly at the same time. It's just making me feel a bit 'out of sorts' for a short spell. It must be part of life.


Maybe when the order is restored, my crafty ways will come back to me. I have a few projects on the go, but abandoned throughout August. Once I reclaim my mojo, I'll be raring to go with them. I liked how they were shaping up before I put them down.




Thank you, for all your comments you take the time to write here in my little space. I know life is hectic, and I hugely appreciate that you take the time to post a comment. I am grateful too, to have you guys here. You 'get' me.

I am trying harder to be able to visit you all, but, sometimes I fail miserably when time is not on my side.


I will come and visit you soon...........




xxx

....and here's if you fancy a dose of Kate.....

My late night driving 'go to', and some of my most favourite lyrics....ever.




....all the dreamers are waking.....






60 comments:

  1. Wow...reading this post, was like someone writing down my own thoughts, feelings, ponderings...I too felt like this through August. Truth be told, for much of this year. It's a constant flowing-down-the-river feeling I get, not quite being able to grab onto anything to secure me to dry land! I know it has a lot to do with the fact that someone has grabbed my neatly laid table cloth of order, and sent everything up in the air with one big shake! My big shake, has been starting a new job after twelve years of being a stay-at-home mum. Suddenly, life has taken a different direction, and I'm still trying to maintain the same level of creating, homemaking, parenting and finding time for blogging in the middle of this whirlpool. So, I just go with the flow...one day at a time...I get it...Hope your mojo makes a quick re-appearance...In the meantime, I'll keep searching for mine too! Thank you for a heartfelt, beautifully written post of the utmost sincerity...I felt ever word...Tania x

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    1. Yes, just go with the flow. It will take quite a while to adjust after twelve years of being at home......and to find a new time table to get all that you had got in before. The floating down the River feeling is a strange one isn't it? I hope that it will all even out for you soon and you'll feel like you've been able to grab at the rivers edge and stand on firmer ground. Take care xxx

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  2. I feel very adrift sometimes too, and particularly so this summer holiday. Reaching for this and that, aimlessly floating and not sure where I'm really going. Creative people are like that though, we need to find fulfilment from within, not from what we 'should' be doing, or what everyone else is doing. It's all very well to have opportunity knocking, but if you don't feel that pull from within, at that moment, then it's hard to grasp it. I've wasted so much time in the past trying to make my blog and social media about what I thought it should be. Then I realised I didn't enjoy it, I dreaded putting posts together, because it wasn't really 'me.' I went through my archives, deleted a load of stuff, re-designed it and I'm moving on with what I want to write and talk about. Same with Instagram etc. 

    My twins start school in September, and after staying home with them all this time I'm scared of the changes that lay ahead for me.

    I hope you find your mojo again very soon, take care xx

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    1. Yes, I think it's important to sometimes just stop in your tracks and take stock of it all. Sometimes things run away with us, and before we know it, it's ended up not as we would have wanted it to end up. It's nice that you feel more content with your blog now. I feel the same. I also feel like you with school. I think that perhaps most mums do. These little milestones like starting school for the first time or moving up to a bigger school, just highlight the end of a chapter in your life and the start of a new one. I think it makes us mums a little wistful. We realise that time passes so quickly and it's time that we never get back, we just relegate to memory. I'm sure they will LOVE it though, and you'll feel calmed again once they have settled in and into a routine. Take care xxx

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  3. Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us. I suppose most of us have been through similar phases and especially sensitive people
    like artists. Summer and holidays give us the time and chance to ponder over our lives more and unveil things that we may not like ,but this pondering could also lead to new beginnings and necessary changes. So , I suppose that we can benefit from this phase of negativity and uncertainty in our lives in order to make plans and improve ourselves and our lives in the long run.
    Wishing you the very best.
    Tina x

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    1. Oh Tina, I love the way you have put that. It makes it feel so much more positive! Thank You! xxx

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  4. Take your time, I think we all feel a bit like this as our children get older, grow up and start growing away. I know I did and I still do. It is a sign that you are a loving Mother.
    Hugs and take a deep breath,
    Meredith

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    1. Awe Meredith, that's a lovely way to put it. Yes, it would be nice to slow time down a little bit. The older you get, the faster it goes by. xxx

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  5. What a lovely post, so well said, I think life ebbs and flows and this post captures that perfectly. I really enjoyed reading it...xx

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    1. Yes, life does ebb and flow doesn't it. Thank you for taking the time to read my post Emma xxxxx

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  6. You don't sound weird at all - honest, and I'm sure many of us share similar feelings, but I know I'm not so good at putting them in to words. I wonder why the world is obsessed with "embracing change". I wonder why it's frowned on to be happy as you are. I like calm order, a tidy house, and a pretty garden, and crafting. I honestly don't feel the need to change and take more on. Wishing you a great weekend. My son returned to school yesterday, so leisurely breakfasts will be a weekend luxury. (Although I'm recovering from a foot op, so I'm still sitting around.)
    PS - Loving listening to Kate Bush as I write this. Thanks x

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    1. Yes, you are so right. Most people I talk to seem to think it's such a strange thing for me to say. I know change is inevitable......for everyone, but I just don't like it. Even 'good' change takes me a while to 'absorb'.I think I'm just not an impulsive person. I think way too much about everything before I take a step forward, so I guess it stands to reason that it takes a while to process new paths. Oooooh rest up that foot until it's fully healed! xxx

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  7. I know how you feel and it happens to me as well. I felt this way for the past couple of months but it's been much better since my kids went back to school. Now I feel so much more purpose in my days. I have been trying hard to be positive and happy because I find myself surrounded by people who are negative, who complain all the time. I don't remember this before I had children, but sometimes I think other parents are just to be avoided, they seem really miserable to me. I'm trying to enjoy this phase of life and I have to tune them out. Also, more and more I feel glad I haven't joined Instagram. I don't personally feel that more social media improves one's life, but that's just my opinion. I don't like to see the way it's affecting blogging, I think it's a shame but to each her own, I guess. Hugs to you, I hope you feel better soon.

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    1. Yes, I know I'll feel more myself when the term starts again and I can get more order in my life again too. You are so right too. The people who surround you, can have such an impact on your day to day state of emotions. If you are surrounded by miserable people who always complain, then I'm sure it will affect you deeply. They'd pull you down too. Do what you have to do to make sure that you enjoy this time as a mother, so yeah, definitely tune them out! On the matter of social media, I think it's a double edged sword. I know it's a great place to be to promote oneself, especially if you have a business to promote, but I think it just eats us all up to be on everything, and we end up being on it ALL the time. We forget to actually talk to people who are in the same room as us as we are all on our phones, tablets, laptops etc! xxx

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  8. Welcome back firstly and your calm, beautiful photos....oh my days blogging/children/work/dreams/aspirations/me-time/house/garden/cleaning/shopping/welfare of everyone...umm I think it is a tall order and we can all echo/relate/empathise totally.
    Hope you find yourself soon and have time to work it all out.
    Best wishes
    Helen

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    1. Yes, we try to cram it all in don't we. Each one of us, needing......trying to be superwoman. Sometimes we just flake out and need a break! xxx

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  9. I really enjoyed your words and thoughts….
    xxxxxx Ale

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  10. I rarely comment on blogs, even though I have my own and love to get comments. But I so identified with what you wrote here. I too have been very unsettled and find it hard to grasp on to something to anchor me (loved how you described that!). I'm just finishing up 3 weeks of holiday time, 2 of it away and 1 at home and am dreading going back to work next week. I don't really like my job and I've know that for a while, but I'm so afraid of trying to find something else. It pays really well - to leave it seems foolhardy, and yet it feels like it is slowly killing me, sucking my spirit dry. I have 3 teenagers, heading back to school next week and I love, love, love seeing them grow and develop and become so mature and responsible. I'm proud of them...but also wonder what happened to my little girls? Is this a mid life crisis? I have some health issues happening too and waiting on results, hoping there is nothing wrong, but also want to 'blame' something for how I feel. Sigh. I often say to myself "this too will pass"...and i'm trying to trust that it will.
    Thanks for continuing to blog. I've never ventured into instagram and stopped using Facebook. But keep coming back to my blog.

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    1. Thank you Roslyn for taking the time to comment here. The whole thing about jobs is such a tricky one isn't it? I know how you feel. I worked in a job for 12 years. The hours were not ideal, but for what I did, and the hours I worked, I got paid really well. So I stayed. I also stayed because I didn't mind it too much....and I almost wish I did; because then I would have left and not ended up regretting what I missed out on because I was too comfortable to leave. So I guess, from my own experience, my advice would be..........if you think you could manage on a reduced income, and you have any clue on what you would love to do......then make the leap. It really is a massive leap into the unknown, but if your life is being sucked out of you, and you were able to manage on a reduced income.....then look for a happier path. You get one life. Easier said than done I know, and only you can know what is best and what you can handle. Ask yourself if you will look back at yourself in 10 years time full of regret? I hope that you manage to find your 'Anchor'. xxx

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  11. Thanks for sharing. I feel much the same way. Time keeps passing and I just roll with it. It is good to feel I'm not traveling along time all alone. Love to you and the bears.

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    1. Gosh, yes, it's been so nice to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this. Life really does ebb and flow xxxx

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  12. What I love about blogging, is that it is more about getting to know each other. I find the blogs I'm most drawn to are of the ladies I'd most likely want to form friendships with in "real" life. These are ladies I think about and even pray for - I get excited when I see a new post, but if there is a lull in posting, I either hope some good family/friend time is being had, or some much needed rest being had, with prayer that if something hard has come up, that you/they will come through all right. A blog is where daily joys, fun projects, recipes, and so many other fun things can be shared, but sorrow and grief can also be shared. Also, as with a "real" friendship, time apart doesn't hurt. Friends can pick up right where they left off. Life is seasonal, watching one season pass can be so difficult, no matter how wonderful the coming season may be!

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    1. Michelle, you've hit the nail on the head! Yes, yes, yes, that's what blogging is all about. I think it's about getting to know people who you would want in your life. I love the connections you make with people here. I guess because it's so much 'deeper' here than on other social media. You really get to 'know' a person. I think it's harder to be someone you're not when you are blogging as opposed to any other social media. Thank you for your words, it really nailed why blogging is so lovely really xxxx

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  13. Hello! Thanks for opening up to us and put it all down how you feel. I think this is very courageous of you, but it is also a necessary (and postitive) step that will help you to grow. Sometimes a break (or absence) can indeed free us! I wish you all the best, and I think by starting to craft just a little, you will find a new direction and purpose, just slowly and in small steps, until it grows more, you will find new confidence and interest, and it will sustain you! Focusing on a small thing will help finding a purpose!
    Have a relaxing weekend!
    Ingrid xx
    http://myfunkycrochet.blogspot.be/

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    1. Hello Ingrid, Thank you for your comment........I have picked up my crochet hook again and am starting to get back into crafting in a small way.It's relaxing!!!!!! Take care xxx

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  14. hi, my english is sooooo bad, but i love love Love your blog.

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    1. Awe thanks Susie for telling me that! Take care xxxx

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  15. I have many of these same feelings, and I see that others do too. You have articulated something that I have been struggling to identify. Sometimes my thoughts are a bit overwhelming, and I can feel myself withdrawing into them. I'm not quite sure about things right now, and what comes next, and about whether I am ready for what comes next. I'm not sure that I am, but of course that won't make any difference, time moves on regardless. I'm always glad to come here and read your posts. I don't look at Instagram, but I do enjoy your blog very much, and especially the lovely things you make. Have a good weekend. Not long until order is restored! CJ xx

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    1. That's it isn't it? Time moves on, regardless of whether we are ready for it or not. I just think some people, like us, just need a little more time than others to adjust to it. Once we do, we are okay and can move with it all, but it just takes a little longer to get going! Gosh, yes, I am READY for some order!!!!! xxxx

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  16. I enjoy your blog so much. I love seeing your projects and your cups of coffee. Your color loves are fun as I love a range of colors too. I have been waiting eagerly for you to come back. I could never blog but if I did it I would want it to be like you do. Thanks for the sweet things you post.

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    1. Awe thank you Sarah for such kind words! Take care xxx

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  17. Oh so with you on so much of this... that overwhelming feeling of not quite managing the world and all it throws at us - and perhaps the expectations we make of ourselves that are unrealistic at times. Feel a lot like I'm 'not waving but drowning' a lot of the time and suppressing an intense sense of panic. My sons think I overthink things & I know I have a tendency to analyse too much, maybe take things to heart that I shouldn't. I worry that 2 out of my 3 boys are out of the same mould and that I should set a better example to them... Blogging has been a bolt hole for me - a kind of pictorial diary of the bits I want to remember, snapshots of a day or a feeling. Trying to concentrate on the things that I value, however small they may seem. Reminding myself it's about perspective. Keep positive, enjoy the moments and if floating/drifting feels the way to be just now...so be it. xx

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    1. Yes, I think to people who have a tendency to 'overthink' everything, like ourselves, find it that much harder in the everyday world. I'm constantly missing opportunities because i've spent so long thinking about it, that it's been and gone.......even the smallest little things in life. I'd love to think I could change, but I realise it's just who I am, and I accept that.I guess, maybe sometimes, I just get a little wistful, like now. Blogging is great to record memories of lovely things, lovely moments, lovely makes that have happened in one's life. I'm so glad I have this little record to look back on to remember. Take care xxxxx

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  18. You have to do what is right for YOU, not anyone else. I have learned that. It is hard, I don't say it lightly. Having said that you have to do what is right for you, I am going to say this - I am a contradiction at times! - Don't worry about what other people think or say and don't apologise for yourself. I haven't read the other comments, I decided some time ago that I would leave my own comments, regardless of what others might have said or not, and that I would write what I wanted to on my blog. I feel that huge weight lifted from me that I had been worrying about and carrying around. Truly, do what you need to. Drift, or focus, or something in between. As long as you are comfortable that is ALL that matters. But please take care of yourself and know that we are here and love reading what you have to say and looking at your beautiful pictures and will be here whenever you are ready and able to share and will understand if you aren't. Hugs to you. xx

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    1. Yes Amy, it's about stepping away to see the bigger picture, and find what makes YOU happy, not what you THINK should make you happy. I do find, with social media, that you have to do that A LOT, otherwise you have a tendency to get swept away on other peoples dreams, and not your own. It is a nice feeling though, when you step back into it assured of what you want out of it. Like you say, the pressure is suddenly lifted. Take care xxxx

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  19. I admire your honesty. I'm in the worst time of my life and your feelings and words make me think. I admire you. I hope you soon find inner peace and tranquility.
    Thanks for sharing...

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    1. Cristina, I sincerely hope that things improve for you soon. Life does ebb and flow. We all have times when the heavy grey clouds obliterate the sun, and it seems like the day will never come when the sun shines through once more. But it will. The sun always shines again....and to weather the storm will leave you a stronger person. Although you may not think so at the time, it will happen. I found listing positives in a notebook each day (however small) helped enormously when life was difficult. Maybe that might help you as it helped me. Take care xxxx

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    2. Thanks for your kind comment, Vanessa... You are a great person...

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  20. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, so beautifully put and so honest. I think all of us who read your blog understand how you feel at this time because most of us have been where you are in one form or another. It's good to write down how you feel, it's a way of processing all those things that are buzzing around in your head. Give yourself time to be you, be kind to you, all will be well.
    Sending big hugs,
    Anne xx

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    1. Thank you Anne. Yes, you are right.....it always feels good to get in on 'virtual' paper! It also, nice to know that others understand your feelings so well. xxx

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  21. You have written so brilliantly about how you feel and it is just the way I'm feeling too. My eldest daughter got married in May and before then we were so busy, planning, planning ,planning! After a wonderful day, I have spent the last three months drifting, feeling a bit lost, worrying about my parents and sister, wondering about the future and generally feeling not quite me. We've just had a wonderful relaxing holiday in the sun and it's back to work on Monday so maybe I'll start to feel more me. I love reading your blog, thank you and take care of yourself, Jane x oh and I too have been listening to Kate Bush who I adored when I was younger! And watching all her old music videos as well! She's brilliant.

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    1. Yes, I think these moments happen, when several things collide to make us feel like this. It seems to be all about closing chapters doesn't it. As mums, we are cogs in so many wheels. I think we are just more aware of when things come to an end, even the littlest things, and it maybe hits us sensitive ones a little bit harder. xxx

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  22. helloooo lovely one, always good to take time out and just 'be'...without any other obligations. i had a few lovely days off with my girly and we just went with the mood~ even the drizzle 'n' cloud didnt put us off...always good for me to get out and get away from all the techno stuff these days...i even forgot my phone one day and thought i must do this on my days off. My daughters bedroom has had a good empty always sad to think theyre growing up and all their old toys must move on to charity...i even sorted 8 bags of clothes for the salvation army...it felt good to de-clutter. i have worn my flip flops non-stop and loved the warm weather...i usually look forward to the Autumn days but i always dread the heating costs. we have been lucky this summer though most of the really hot days ive been in a office sooo booo to that. And now its overcast and cloudy when i booked some time out ~ typical. oh' well... enjoy the time with your boys...its lovely when they all get on. I think of my mum with a family of 4 children it must have been sooo lovely when we all went back to school. My twinny has two children under 5 and her daughter starts school this sept she cant wait hehe. I still remember finding my mums album of kate bush at 12-13 yrs. I saw her new concerts were a sell out on the news.
    She influenced my love of tori amos too... ;0) x

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    1. ...though i have to admit im not keen on tori's newer albums shes lost her original thread...seems a bit more like shes being managed ;(

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    2. Oh that's truly pants that the days you booked off were overcast! Glad to hear though that you've had some lovely quality time with SweetPea. I've been sorting out clothes for charity too, I can't bring myself to get rid of some stuff though! Hummmm yes, I feel the same way about Tori Amos. Loved her earlier stuff. I know all artists evolve as they grow older and their style changes. I guess that's why we all have our favourites! Oh I would have loved to have seen Kate Bush live. Apparently it was awesome. xxxxx

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  23. I just read this post and did a lot of smiling and nodding. It all kind of makes sense as you write it. I think the holidays can be quite an unfocused time. The urge for clarity and focus is growing stronger. I think the opportunities that are opening up to you through all this may lead to something more for sure and the challenge is to hold your ground until if and when something really speaks to you as right. Something probably is trying to emerge, take shape, find it's moment....but sometimes it's enough to just hold the space of where we are right now and that is good too. X

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    1. Yes you are right, and I think this summer, I have been more 'unfocused' than usual! xxxx

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  24. A lovely, thoughtful post, with beautiful photos. Life does ebb and flow and our moods and creativity do too. Bringing up children takes such a lot of energy. Your blog is always a delight to read, Vanessa, and I am very glad you are continuing it. I hope you find happy and fulfilling times over the coming season.
    Helen xox

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    1. Awe thank you Helen for such lovely words xxxxx

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  25. You don't sound weird at all! You sound a lot like me. =) I can so identify with all of your thoughts. Change is not something I am good at either. I stay awake frequent nights, pondering the lives of my two oldest children...now grown. Oh, how I miss the days when they were little, and I felt I could solve all their little foibles and problems. Life has a way of getting more complicated the older I get...or maybe I just over think things too! Your blog has always been a wonderful place to visit. Your photos are such perfection and your writing too.
    Thank you for that! Blessings, Valerie

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    1. Change is part and parcel of life isn't it Valerie. Perhaps some people are just able to embrace it better than others! Yes, I think us 'overthinkers' probably complicate things far more than they should be! xxxx

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  26. You don't sound weird at all, and you're not alone. I think the drifting days of the summer holidays can make as mums feel very un-anchored and strange, and I know I will welcome the school routine as much as I'll miss the slower mornings. What you do with your blog is up to you and no-one else. The minute I thought seriously about "monetising" mine I didn't want to blog any more. I think (hope) I've reached a sort of balance where I turn down 95% of what I get offered and just do things that let me write about craft, or photography, or things I truly love. Anyway, I love your blog and find your projects hugely inspiring so I hope you'll continue to share lots more in this space. Take care. xx

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    1. Oh it's good to know I'm not the only one who thought that (about changing the direction of my blog)! I also found the moment I made a commission for someone, I really didn't enjoy doing it! The minute I was doing something that wasn't solely what I had thought in my head to do, I just found it tedious and I wanted to run! Yes, I think it's the summer holidays that don't help with the feelings of 'drifty-ness'. I have loved the lazy mornings but I am SO ready for order again! Take care xxxx

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  27. You are what blogging is all about, sharing your thoughts, your hopes and dreams.. I love your blog and miss your beautiful words and stunning photographs but I know how important it is to take stock now and again then come back hopefully invigorated..take care of yourself..x

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    1. Thank you Maureen for your kind words! Take care xxxx

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  28. Hi Vanessa - I love your blog! Being on the other side of the world to you I am feeling quite the opposite to you. As we celebrate the first day of Spring here today I feel my motivation coming back to get things done, projects started and projects finished. Perhaps the way you are feeling is merely your body/mind telling you it is time to slow down and hunker down for Winter. Please don't stop doing what you are doing just the way you are doing it...

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  29. Yes, I think you are right Priscilla. I think our Summer has seemed so short (our weather has been pretty awful for the first 5 months of the year), that I feel not yet ready to give it up and move on! Perhaps that, coupled with the holidays and the new changes in Sept have left me feeling a little wistful this August. I'm sure things will all settle down again over the next few weeks, and I might even really love Autumn!!!!!!! xxxx

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  30. Hi. I have been thinking lots about what makes me blog and I think the short answer is that I am pleased to record my thoughts and creations with others who may (or may not!!) Be interested. I like tolook back and see how far I've come in all areas. I think the answer is that I blog for me and try not to get too caught up with how many people read it apart from me (much to no. 1's sons amazement!) Anyway I just wanted to say that I love your blog but understand exactly the floaty feeling of the holidays. Back to school tomorrow and normality! X

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  31. I think we all drift along at certain times - especially over the summer. I can't believe we're already into September. The weather has improved a little but it's not summer again. I've only been blogging for a few months. I'm enjoying it but I do feel pressure with doing it. I don't want it to 'take over my life' but, if I'm going to do it all, it will take time from other things I need/want to do. Oh well, we'll see how it goes!

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