Goodness Me.......

Have I really left it that long?

Forgive me.......

I was planning the see the New Year in with a post, and it looks like my first one is happening almost at the end of the month.

The start to this year has been somewhat of a hectic one.

Firstly.....

Did you all have a good Christmas and New Year?

For me, as you may know by now, I have grown to dread the Christmas build up. I had really come to loathe it actually. Ridiculous really, and I need to snap out of it and make sure I actually get to enjoy November and December of this year more. 

This past Christmas was a weird one for me. A HUGE mixture of emotions.

A Christmas week of laughing so much....and so hard.......I could hardly breath. Laughing at almost everything, all day.....for a week. It's good to laugh, it's good for the soul. 

So, after a couple of months of being a bah humbug, the Christmas 'Joy' finally hit me and I loved it. I loved being with family, I loved the screeching excited noises of the children, I loved being able to have a glass of wine during the day and not feel guilty as the only movement I would be doing was walking from one room to another and the occasional walk along a beach front.

So 'Laughter' is one word I associate with this past Christmas. Also, 'Sadness' is a word that tags on to it. I received news after Boxing day that my Grandmother had passed away. My only Grandparent left. In truth, at being told the news, I just felt relief really more than sadness at the time. 

My Grandfather had passed away 7 years ago, and it's fair to say she stopped 'living' then. It's a hard thing to see someone you love just lose the will to want to be around on this earth. In the past couple of years I have gone through all sorts of emotions, sadness, love, frustration, anger and guilt. I couldn't understand why she didn't want to make an effort to enjoy her family, her grandchildren......... her great-grandchildren. She had spent her life NEVER being ill. At 95 she was totally with it still mentally. She had worked as a secretary for a company until the grand old age of 80. Even then, she didn't want to retire, but thought she should, even though her company still wanted her. 

The joy of life stopped for her the day her husband died. She stopped caring about making herself meals and moving about. She lost weight and her joints started to cease up. The doctors were frustrated with her..... I was frustrated with her. Through 2011, she was hardly eating a thing and it became clear that being at home wasn't an option. It's one of those decisions that is always quite a heartbreaking one to have to make. She went into a Care Home at the beginning of 2012 and decided that she wanted to eat even less and not move at all. Visiting her was shocking, heartbreaking and I'd come away feeling angry with her for just giving up. Being so mentally with it, and all her organs proving that, even under the strain of what she was putting her body through, they were just not ready to give up on her, why, why, why didn't she make the effort? Of course, then the guilt came. I understood that, even though her body could have gone on and on, and she could have had a really great amount of years still ahead of her if she had wanted, but, she just didn't want to. I had to accept that. I found it hard, and have struggled with it......but I learnt at the end to accept it. So...............I was relieved to hear the news. I was relieved to hear she was no longer in pain. That she was no longer living a life that was in fact, just an existance. That once more, she was was seeing her husband. I was relieved that I could start to remember her again as the woman who made my face light up. The woman who helped to make me the person I am today. I don't think she ever really realised just what an influence she had on me. My love of most things were through my experiences of them through her as a child.

Moving on, also, Christmas was a tad different this year, as at the beginning of the New Year there was a Family Wedding. Mr H was Best Man to one of his Brothers. So, I think wedding fever was hitting us all over Christmas. Although, whoever had the idea of having a Wedding STRAIGHT after Christmas needs their head testing! I tried to be good, and I think I was considering I was staying in a house that had food on the go 24 hours a day for a whole week. Let's just say, that outfit finding and fitting was VERY last minute.

It was a beautiful Wedding. The bride looked awesome.

So.....the start to January saw a week taken up with a Wedding Fever.......Then a week taken up with Funeral arrangements and a Funeral.......Then A week full of Hospital visits visiting my mum who had knee replacement surgery. Then snow. 

Okay, so i'm up to date. It's almost February and I feel like i'm just officially ready to pay full attention to this year ahead. I still have bags to unpack and a few christmas dec boxes still to put away but i'm getting there! WOO HOO!

I haven't even mentioned any makes. Well, that's because I haven't even really begun to make anything. Well, I whipped a scarf up in a couple of evenings as the odd scraps of yarn were bugging me and I needed to make use of them with some quick project. 

But that's it. I still have about 3 projects to finish off, and i'm hoping that February will allow me to do that. I will just say though, that there is a new magazine out by the makers of Mollie Makes. It's called Simply Crochet. Issue one is out this month and there might be a teeny tiny sneaky little mention of Coco Rose Diaries and the Hot Water Bottle post in there. click here and get a little preview of what the magazine has to offer. And, whilst i'm on that subject, it's great to see so many of you feeling the hot water bottle love too! Phew, my VERY loose tutorial was easy enough to follow and adapt and it's been so great to see so many being made and shown on IG. I still cannot get enough, and here in the UK, it's definitely cold enough to make use out of them!

I do have my list though of what I aim to complete for this year, and let me tell you, the list is pretty big! Arrrggggghhhhh! Should be fun though!

So, Watch this space!

Hopefully I will be back really shortly!

Have the most beautiful day all!

xxx

P. S the pics were a montage of the last year both here and through Instagram. It's been a colourful year!