Evolving and Simple Pleasures........

Life is ever evolving.

I have felt like I have slowly been changing these past couple of years. It is quite a scary thing, especially for someone who is a complete control freak. To have that security that you know who you are, then to begin to feel like you are becoming someone else.......and not of your choosing.

I LOATHE change. 

I'll do change

I'll accept change....if it's my idea

If I've thought about it forever in my head that it feels like it's not been sprung on me, then it'll be okay.

Anyone else feel like that?

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I know I'm not on my own. Many women experience this. Your kids, suddenly aren't these little beings anymore who solely rely on you. In a blink of an eye (it seems), they are suddenly these big people, who want to (and should) branch out in the world.

These emotional feelings of not really knowing who you are to people day to day, are often accompanied side by side the peri-menopause or menopause. The physical and emotional double whammy just to make it all feel like you have been thrown into a washing machine, and set on a really long, and really rough cycle. 

It's a minefield, that so many of us go through and experience. I guess you don't really know how much it displaces you until you are actually slap, bang in the middle of it.

My creative side has taken a back seat for the best part of a year now. It's like it's just upped and left my body. I don't know whether it's a temporary thing, or whether it's really gone for good. I don't know whether it's me thinking that I'm ready to change direction and discover something knew, or whether my love for crochet and making will come back to me. I made a start on two blankets. One is half finished and stares at me half draped over a chair. The other, was going to be a slow grower. A labour of love. One I could pick up and put down when I felt like it. The gaps in between picking it up have been too infrequent. I'm enjoying it when I'm working on it, but that zest for seeing it finished is just lacking. I saw a pattern on pinterest for a lovely jumper, and my interest was slightly peaked.

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 However, that bit from being interested, to full on excited, just isn't there anymore. I looked at it, looked at yarn on a website, then lost interest. I think it would be cute and fun to make, but I just can get to the 'make' stage.

Maybe my lack of enthusiasm for crafting, is just my body telling me that I need to focus on other things at the moment. Who knows? I'm just trying to go with the flow of it all.

I have been enjoying baking. My waistline hasn't thanked me. Who knew it was totally easy to make your own butter? The satisfaction of making it and then putting it on freshly made bread.....well....there's nothing quite like it

   

I have been enjoying You Tube more so these days. Slow living vlogs soothe my soul. Beauty and lifestyle vlogs for women more my age suck me in also. As someone who had gone through life really being lazy and neglecting her skin, I thought I ought to get my act together and start to do something about it as I'm nearing the mid century mark. I started watching a couple of vlogs to get an idea of what I really ought to be doing. Self care has always been something that gets a bit lost on me. When you're a busy mum, it's easy to feel the guilt of spending any time on yourself. Plus the fact that I'm quite a lazy person when it comes to skincare etc. I'm a sucker for products, and have the best intentions, but my execution has always been sporadic to say the least. I have been trying really hard to maintain continuity.  It's been quite nice to take some time and realise that little rituals really make a difference to how I look and feel. 

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Here are a some of vlogs I watch just in case anyone fancies a goosie gander. I am sure some of you who are reading this post will be familiar with some crafty vlogs already. I dip in and out as and when I have the time.

Crafty Vlogs

https://www.youtube.com/@talesfromcuckooland

https://www.youtube.com/@Lululovescrochet

https://www.youtube.com/@sewsweetviolet943

https://www.youtube.com/@CherryHeart

https://www.youtube.com/@OllieandBella

https://www.youtube.com/@ElderflowerStitches

https://www.youtube.com/@Kutovakika

https://www.youtube.com/@bythelakeside

Slow Living Vlogs

https://www.youtube.com/@EugeniaDiaz

https://www.youtube.com/@frenchvibes7604

https://www.youtube.com/@Kahvihuone8487

https://www.youtube.com/@LeenaHenningsen

https://www.youtube.com/@LittleHouseOnTheMountain

https://www.youtube.com/@NaturallySilent

https://www.youtube.com/@ilovecybele

Beauty and Lifestyle

https://www.youtube.com/@ScandishHome

https://www.youtube.com/@PrettyOverFifty

https://www.youtube.com/@SpeedBeautybyCarolineBarnes

https://www.youtube.com/@hideawaycottage

https://www.youtube.com/@TheHoodedLid

https://www.youtube.com/@lizearlewellbeing

https://www.youtube.com/@PamperedWolf

https://www.youtube.com/@BlondeTeaParty

https://www.youtube.com/@dominiquesachsetv

https://www.youtube.com/@MadisunGray/featured

https://www.youtube.com/@LisaEldridge

Walks out and about have been lovely recently. 

......and cuddles with this one.....

It's full on summer weather at the moment. I have been waking up with the sunrise. I so love this time of year. Waking up at 4ish and just listening to the birds. That first morning brew in total quiet listening to the day slowly wake from its slumber. One of my favourite song lyric lines is from Kate Bush's song 'Nocturn'.

Look at the light......all the time it's changing, and all the dreamers are waking.

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xxx

Mooching.....

I've been very moochy. The weather has severely affected my mood this holiday.  I don't know why so much this year. 

Today though, the sun is shining, and a smile is on my face. Doomy, gloomy consistently grey weather in the summer, I find hard. 

Okay moan over.

I still haven't photographed my latest WIP. I may do today if I get a moment. I'm not sure it's all that photography worthy now though. I love it so much.....I have lived in it......which is wrong......seeing as it is cosy and snug and warm........and I shouldn't need that at this time of year. Anyway.

I have re-organised my dresser. I took everything off it to get it ready for sanding and painting, but the weather turned and my heart wasn't in it. So I cleaned it and washed everything and sparingly put stuff back on. It WILL get a new lease of life......very soon.

I've comfort eaten, how terrible! Urgh, the weather made me! I'm craving all stodgy stuff.....and Casseroles! Baby Bear and I have baked for England. Fresh French Loaves daily and Cake....lots of it. Seriously, clean eating has totally gone out of the window....and so has my waistline.

I'm itching to start a crochet project. My mini hexagon blanket is on hold for the moment, whilst the house is all topsy turvy. I need a lot of space for it. I want something that will be simple and plain. I have two ideas in mind but I'm just being a bit airy fairy about it. I cannot settle. I think it's because I have so much other stuff to do. Never mind. It shall all come together when it's good and ready.

My favourite jeans need repairing. I pinned a fab idea a year or two back on Pinterest, so that's where the lovely fabric comes in.  Also, Mr Whale came to stay with me. He's rather lovely and I've become very fond of him very quickly.

I shall get the WIP on a post, then I may take a blogging break for a while. I have so much to do in the house and so many projects that need my attention. I really need to focus (which sadly, is not one of my strongest points).

Have a super day all

xxx
 

Views.....

Views from this past week.

I have not been so well. Today, the sun was shining, and Baby Bear and I did some happy baking. He is such a sweetheart, and happy to lick the chocolate spoon.

I have not been doing as much of my latest project as I would have liked, due to feeling so rubbish. I just am LOVING working with the Alpaca yarn though. It truly is the most scrummiest of yarns.  I just have my fingers crossed that it turns how how I have it in my head. It'll be the biggest of pants issues if it doesn't!

Cheerio for now.....

xxx

xxx

This Week......

....has been a little hurried.....but not as hurried as I thought it was going to be.......so that was a bonus.

It mainly consisted of getting back into the school and house routine.

I don't really do New Year's Resolutions, but I did decide it was about time I gave my house an overhaul. Sadly, it's in need of a LOT of tlc. You do one thing, and it's the case of flowers on the windowsill. I'm tackling storage issues at the moment. I'm a magpie, a gatherer (I hate the word Hoarder). I live in a little house, and the Bears are getting bigger. It was only ever meant to be a stop gap house, but it's been a little more than that. So, it's small for us all now, but now is not the time to think about moving when the elder Bears' are starting a critical schooling period. So, I make do, and juggle stuff around. Ikea has been a blessing in the storage tub department. I did come back with a bed too though. That was a tad unexpected. So was the sofa cover, minus the sofa (I couldn't fit a bed and a sofa in my car). That's ok though, it just calls for another trip!

Geez, I really do have a lot of crap. Nice crap though, that I cannot bear to part with. Urgh, I'm useless. I have donated about 8 huge bags to charity shops in the last month, and I feel a bit pleased about that. I asked the Bears what they would like different in the house if I was to re-decorate. Weirdly they said they liked the house as it was. So, it's not all bad then. I think just moving a few bits, storing a few bits, slopping a bit of paint here and there and things can carry on as normal.

In between all this, I did mundane stuff like iron. It's a job I really really LOATHE. I don't find it therapeutic, I find it a complete time waster (like dusting). But I did it. A MASSIVE basket of it, and for one teensy tiny moment, I felt like a domestic goddess, instead of a cleaning loser.

I'm that sad that I stick a pic of all my hours work here too. I seriously was proud of myself for sticking with it! 

The weather has been a mixed bag this week. Bright sunshine one moment, and dark grey clouds the next.

This week, the family computer was updated.Whilst I love new technology, I like what I'm used too. New updated versions of everything annoy me. I'm having trouble commenting on peoples posts, and it's such a faff to work out why. I'm not geek minded at all. Oh well, it gives me a chance to have a play.

I have been enjoying having an endless jug of flowers in my house this year so far. Mainly Daffs and Hyacinths.

The pale pink Hyacinths on my Mantel faded so, a Hyacinth bulb and some Narcissi have gone up.

I do have a lovely little pot of hyacinths and tulips bringing me delight. I keep moving them about the rooms. It's amazing how just a few flowers can lift one so much. They seem to be relatively cheap at the moment too.

Baby Bear made my heart sing when he handed me his picture. He told me that he loves how I make the Mantel different (it's often a thing we do together, he's like my little artistic director) and he thought he'd draw the Mantel that day. 

Awe bless him.

I have enjoyed kitchen time. I love it in my little kitchen when the sun shines.

I am currently liking pink and aqua/mint together.

I am loving little additions to the kitchen too, like sheep. Something rather cute about this one.

I love sorting, and noticing. I love bright and cheerful. I like chunky and necessary also.

I like the useful too....

I have been loving making bread. Or should I say 'trying'. I have been trying different methods. Some work and some don't.

I really wanted this one to work here but I just am not getting any results from it. It's not rising. Tastes decent enough and not heavy which is weird for it not rising really. I wonder if it's my conversions. I find it really hard to convert USA cup sizes to UK metric/imperial. There are sites that convert things but I find it a tad confusing. I'm guessing if it says one cup of flour and one cup of sugar for example, you measure in the same cup measurement. If you convert that on a chart it's different weights in grams but I guess it's just done in cups. I know I sound like a complete thicko, but I don't get the accuracy. Well, something is going wrong my end. I've found, actually doing the suggested ingredients from my bread maker pamphlet in my bread maker is working well. I don't like bread made in bread makers. I find the tin sizes annoying, and hate how it bakes with the dough hook in the loaf. Most bread makers can do the first bit for you and then you just do a last prove yourself and bake it yourself. That seems to work well for me. It takes two and a half hours from start to finish. I really quite fancied a loaf in an hour! Really just because I'm lazy. It's not like it's difficult to put the ingredients in a bread maker and then just leave it for an hour and a half.

I still am determined to make a loaf without any help form my bread maker. I shall carry on testing recipes.

Whilst the sun has shone I have been sorting in my little kitchen. It has been a lovely little spot to be in this week.

I have even managed a little bit of relax time. In between wash loads and ironing, my treat for doing it was something naughty and a good hot cuppa. Mundane simply has to be equalled with something lovely for me. I remember being at Uni and having to write a dissertation on Greek Mythology. It wasn't a module I really wanted to do, but I had to fit it around my teaching modules which sucked at the time. Anyway, I remember wondering how on earth I was to write so much on something that I didn't want to do. So, I decided every 500 hundred words, I would stop for a really nice drink and treat to reward myself. That way, it all sort of equalled itself out. In twenty years, nothing has changed it seems.

Also, This week has been a week of creative juices flowing. Oh my, I have so many ideas of things that I want to start or try. It's that nice exciting time, when you just buzz buzz buzz. Also annoying, as I have that excited nervous energy feeling. It's hard to concentrate when I have that. Also annoying, that suddenly I have all these ideas and I want to start them all.

I'm still researching yarn for when I make the 'proper' Bella Wrap. Now I know I can do it, I'm trying to find the 'right' shade of natural to make it in first. No yellowy hue in sight. I like Drops Andes for coloured ones.

I'm still plodding on with the Sunshine Day Blanket, but it is slow going this week. I have made progress on my footstool.

The black shiny fabric that was under the black crochet cover was covered over with a bit of calico. Big staplers are great things for work like this (not great if your youngest decides to check it out and staple your table). 

Of course it had to be pink didn't it. A dirty pink, my favourite shade of pink. I thought it goes so nicely with the lovely bare wood of the little legs. I did think that blue/grey would be nice also (in the background). A little cushion project that was never finished as I ran out of yarn, but I think it could work well too. I may just mix and match when the mood takes me. Hopefully the pink cover should be finished by tonight. Better than the black crocheted cover it came with. 

I also couldn't resist these balls from my local shop. Aren't they delicious? The mottled ones are Drops Fabel in shades 800 and 801, and the mauve one is Drops Baby Alpaca in shade 4314. I'm still in layering mode and thinking these would make super wrist warmers (like I need any more). This shade of mauve is about the only purpley/lilacy shade I can work with (it's a little pinker than the actual pic). I particularly love it teamed with deep forest greens and dark olives. I'm thinking on a Bella Wrap in those shades, so mauve wrist warmers should compliment it well! 

I also have plans for more embroidery. One is a big project, but I like the idea of doing it. Not sure that if I do it, I'll have anywhere to hang it in my little abode, but I think I'll love working on it. The other is a smaller project. The idea is whirring fast in my head, and I'm loving thinking about it.

This year too, I am planning to get to know my sewing machine a little better. I have a dress I want to make. It'll take a mountain of practice. With crochet, I wanted to learn it just to make a granny squares blanket. Nothing else interested me, it was just one simple blanket. I wanted to learn crochet, make the blanket, and then move on to learning another craft. Seven years later, and I haven't yet moved on. The same may be said with sewing. I want to learn to sew, simply to make a particular dress......and an A-line skirt. Two things, if I can master and make, then I should be happy enough to move on. Let's see if that's the case.

So, it's been a making, baking, clearing, sorting, ideas buzzing kind of week. 

A happy one.

I'll take that.

I'll also take another slice of warm bread. The buzzer has just gone. The Bear's are not going to get a look in. Somebody stop me, I'm outta control............

Have a super weekend all

xxx